A Worshipful Heart

We're Off!

Well we're off! All of the good byes have been said, all the details worked out, all of the last minute reminders done, all the preparations have been made, everything is packed - if we've forgotten it now we'll just have to visit a Wal-Mart in Tennessee! Whew! It takes much effort to make room in our life to retreat together.The road to a retreat of the heart is never cheap or easy. Satan loves to send up roadblocks as we prepare to be with God in a special, set apart time. Pray for us to be able to give the worries we left behind, the jobs we left undone, the children we leave in someone else's care to God's loving hand and care. Now that our preparations are over, we can truly begin to turn our hearts towards God and one another. Pray for us, please. This is an important, pivotal moment for our ministry team. Pray that we can fully enter into God's presence.

A Time to Get Away....Together

I am very excited! Thursday morning our worship ministry team will head to the mountains of Tennessee together. It's time for our praise team annual retreat! Every year our band, vocalists, sound techs and service directors along with some friends who cook and care for us go away to a cabin in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee to stay for a few days. We learn almost half of our new worship music for the year, we learn and worship and pray together, we play games, eat well and just generally have a blast. And there's always some crazy contest that gives us a year's worth of laughs! It's the highlight of our year together - the launching pad for the entire calendar year. God meets with us in some very profound ways as we make this commitment not only to our friendship with Him, but also to our friendship with one another. It is on these retreats that friendships are strengthened, lives are changed, bonds are forged, memories are made that truly last all of our lives. Our hearts are knit together in the furnace of time together and time with God. I have so many wonderful "memory snapshots" that will stay with me forever from our retreats. One of the things I most love about our times away is the uninterrupted time together. We don't grab an hour here or there, but we get to continually be with one another. As we've approached this year's retreat I realized something significant. Even though I am around my teammates week in and week out, I realized that I miss them - I miss time to hang out and talk and catch up, to fully enjoy one another. I've been so busy running dealing with difficulties I have lost some of my connection to my friends. That makes me sad. But I am encouraged to have this time away as a team. I am so looking forward to time together to worship and linger in God's presence.  I am looking forward to laughing and playing together, to hearing all of our voices raised together in praise. I am looking forward to praying with one another, to sharing communion, to hugs and even tears and yes, to raising the roof praising the Lord! I just need time with my friends to hang out together. And I need time with the Lord as well. So please pray for us as we go. Pray that God will meet with us and do that perfect work that only He can do. Pray that we will travel in safety and really enjoy one another. Pray that we will have open hearts and willing spirits to hear God's word to us. Pray for the Spirit of God to so invade our times of worship that we are simply overwhelmed. Pray for us to grow and stretch as worshipers and worship leaders and for us to return home to lead worship out of an overflow of our connection to God. Pray for our hearts to be bound together so that we may minister as a family - to our church and to one another. Pray that God will have His way and move mightily.

I know that I am hungry for a touch and a word from God. I know that I need to be with Him in a very deep way. I know that I need - at this moment in my life - to retreat. The blessing is that I get to do this with friends. I thank God for these moments. They are what makes life so very sweet.

Health Update #4

This is not my main post for today so please read my main blog below - "On My Face"! I wanted to give you another update - to keep me accountable - on my journey towards losing 40 pounds. As of today I have been dieting for 7 weeks and I have lost - tada! - 16 1/2 pounds! yea! One of the main motivators for me to lose weight was so I could worship God in my body and not be so limited. I wanted to be able to freely kneel and bown down before God! So read on as I share a bit about that.......

On My Face

There are just moments in my worship of God that the only appropriate response to His Spirit and His presence is to get on my face before Him. I felt this yesterday in church but - alas - I had to get up and lead worship! I'm not sure our congregation is quite ready for me to lay on my face on the stage while we sing so I passed on it in that moment. But God is gracious and last night in my time with Him I sensed this leading once again - just to get on my face before Him. There are several reasons this posture is so profoundly worshipful for me.

First of all, there are just moments when I am overwhelmed by a reverence for God. In the light of His presence that is so holy I am moved most of all to make myself as small as possible, to show with my physical posture that I am submitting and honoring His greatness. I am not sure how to put it into words, I can only say that in those holy moments, being on my face before the Lord is the only thing I can do. "He must increase and I must decrease." To bow before the Lord is to offer our worship very humbly.

Another reason to take this posture in worship (for me personally) is when I am earnestly seeking God over something or someone. This posture removes our dignity and pride - we are left with nothing else but to put it all at the feet of Jesus. We have no more control, no more attempts or strength to handle it on our own. All that is left is for GOD TO MOVE. When I am truly desperate for God, when I have really reached the end of my own strivings, then I seek Him prostrate on my face. I am spent - there is nothing more for me to do EXCEPT seek God. I know there are multitudes of reasons to adopt this posture in worship, those are just two thoughts from my own journey as a worshiper.

When I kneel and prostrate myself before the Lord, what I feel is that my body longs to worship God in that way! Remember that we worship God not just with our minds and our hearts and our wills, but also with our bodies. While I believe this includes service to others, I don't think it ONLY includes this. I think - judging from the many admonitions in the Bible to do so - that worshiping God with our bodies is a hugely important part of expressing our hearts to Him. His word is filled with instruction on lifting our hands, kneeling and bowing, shouting, clapping our hands, and dancing as a regular part of our worship.

Think about it. If you love someone, don't you touch them? If they only stood there and said the words and never reached out to you or hugged you wouldn't their expression of love feel incomplete and almost awkward to you? Well the same is true of our relationship with God. We want to fully express ourselves - with our mind, our words, our heart, our bodies, our service, our love, our obedience. When we skip any aspect of this we are offering an incomplete expression of our worship.

For those of you that might find this to be a newer, or more difficult concept I would offer these words of advice. (I did not grow up in a church that practiced physical expressions of worship so I understand that it is a journey) Buy some worship music you love, find a quiet and very private place and worship God as you are in that place all alone. Listen to how your own body longs to express itself to God as you worship and then try it there in private. It's a first step to being a bit more open in our public worship, which is a blessing to God and an encouragement to the church at large. And as you worship, be open to the leading of the Holy Spirit, for we show our love for God as we obey Him.

"Come, let us bow down in worship, let us kneel before the Lord our Maker." (Psalm 95:6)

A Great Adventure!

There are a few adventures in life I have always wanted to experience. I've always had a hankering to hike down the Grand Canyon and cross the Colorado River as it rages underneath my feet and stay at Ghost Ranch for a few days before heading back out. I've often thought longingly of not just taking an Alaskan cruise, but of taking a land tour for a few weeks and going to Denali, walking on a glacier and seeing all of the beautiful scenery. I'd love to take a train ride through the Canadian Rockies, I'd be thrilled with a three or four week car trip to see America in a very close up and personal way, and I hope one day to both bike through Vermont and hike in Scotland and Ireland, explore Yosemite and many other places in this world.

There is one adventure that has piqued my interest ever since I first read of it. That adventure is to kayak the Na Pali Coast of Kaua'i. It is a 17 mile sea kayaking adventure through some of the most glorious scenery I have ever seen in my life. National Geographic ranks this as the 2nd Best Adventure in all of America!!! Last year when we visited Kaua'i for the first time we read about it and decided that it was too physically demanding - I wasn't sure I was recovered from mono enough. Instead we took a catamaran around the Na Pali coast and stopped to go snorkeling. The scenery was so amazing! As we rode by the steep sea cliffs and saw pods of dolphins swimming right by the boat, got glimpses of sea turtles and had the most unbelievable time snorkeling. I felt like I was in another world. Phil and I road on the trampolines up front and it was truly exhilarating. I felt fully alive that day and so aware of God's presence and handiwork. If you have never thought of it, just look around you - our God is a wonderfully imaginative and creative Creator. As I looked at all the amazing sights there were many moments that I felt tears well up in my eyes. That coastline is like a cathedral - it drew my heart to God and as I rode on that boat I couldn't help but sing and worship God. Well on this trip we passed people kayaking the coastline. I felt a twinge of regret that we had not done this.

Well we are going back to Kaua'i in May. Phil and I are so excited we can hardly stand ourselves. We've been debating what we want to do on this trip - what hikes we want to make sure we take and what beaches we want to visit as well as what activities we might want to try. Today Phil called the company that does this 17 mile kayaking trip and talked to them about it and found out that - while not easy - it is fine if you are in decent physical shape. People do it every year without any previous kayaking experience. So we are discussing this very seriously now and I am so excited. We will stop to swim on the beach, under waterfalls, and end up at Polihale, the largest beach in the state with dunes that reach 100 feet high. I can't believe that we might actually be going to have this once in a lifetime experience! I guess I need to start lifting weights and walking even more to build up endurance.  Well that's my dream of adventure. What have you always dreamed of doing? Please share!

Meet Worship Leader Michelle Britt!

Tonight I want to introduce you to my good friend Michelle Britt, another one of the enormously talented worship leaders who will be leading worship at The Brook during my sabbatical. Michelle has perhaps the most beautifully expressive voice of any vocalist I know. She has led worship many times when I've been away and she has also led worship for many years at special services and on retreats. She is a gifted worship leader. Not only is Michelle a wonderful vocalist, she very intuitively leads us into God's presence with her tender heart and gentle spirit combined with a voice that moves everyone that hears her. She has a particular gift for getting people to quiet their hearts to enter into worship. She's also a gifted songwriter and has written some beautiful songs that we've used in different services.

Michelle is alot of fun - it's always a blast to have her around! She loves to sit and visit and she's one of the few people in the world who doesn't complain that I talk too much. She genuinely enjoys being with others and that is a special gift in and of itself. She makes you feel relaxed and comfortable. I know you will all be so blessed by her special blend of worship leadership. I look forward to hearing how God speaks and moves through her. Please pray for her to have strength and health during her pregnancy and also for her to be filled to overflowing with the Spirit of God as she ministers as a lead worshiper.

Michelle is married to our very awesome Student Minister Josh Britt  and is currently enjoying being a stay at home mom to her twin boys Nate and Jonathan (pictured here). She is expecting another baby in July and we found out today that Josh and Michelle will be having another boy! Michelle, you will be seriously outnumbered and, I am sad to inform you, the toilet seat will NEVER be down! Maybe for your  baby shower what we really need to give you is your very own bathroom!!! :)  She also uses her teaching degree by teaching a class with The Brook Academy and she tutors some students. She spends many hours with our students loving on them and caring for them. We are blessed in SO many ways to have Josh and Michelle at The Brook. (Josh will also be leading worship!)

Michelle has been so encouraging to me as I contemplated the step of taking a sabbatical. She has been very supportive and generous with her time. She's spent alot of time helping me figure out the details and more than anything, she's prayed for me and with me and given me the gracious gift of an understanding and sympathetic ear. She probably has the deepest understanding of almost anyone of the pain from the past two years. We've walked through some painful times together and she was a faithful friend through it all. In all of this she saw my heart and cared enough to say "go, take some time to rest - we're here for you." Michelle, you're both a gift and a blessing. I thank God for you! May God bless you as you lead, filling your heart with joy and a sensitivity to God at work. May His anointing power be upon you my friend. I love you!

What would I have done?

I read a quote today from Michael Card that said something like, "Jesus knew the pain and suffering to come, He knew about the cross, but He came anyway". As I read this I was struck with a horrible fear deep in the pit of my stomach. The very obvious question that rang through my heart was this: "If I had known the loneliness, the pain, the sorrow, the difficulty of ministry, would I have still said yes to the calling?".  I hope so. I truly do. But I will be honest and say that I am not sure. I have a very real doubt that I would have turned away and simply said said "No thanks God". You see when I entered ministry I never envisioned difficult days - I loved what I was doing and felt God's pleasure. I was thrilled beyond measure to get to do this for a living! I could not envsion people disagreeing, breaking fellowship, being angry. I could not envision the pain and sorrow of bearing other's burdens, the weight of concern over the church, the emotional impact of dealing with sinful behavior and it's results day in and day out. I did not realize the full measure of spiritual warfare that is waged when we proclaim Jesus Christ and try to obey God. Naively I never dreamed of a truly difficult day, much less a difficult season, and certainly not difficult YEARS! I thought "I'm obeying God, so of course it will all be wonderful!".  How young, innocent and untouched I was! I am terribly afraid that I would have run screaming and said a vehement "NO" if I had really known some of the painful realities of ministry. I don't think I would have been as courageous as Jesus, knowing the path in front of Him and choosing it anyway. He knew the loneliness, the rejection, the sorrow, the pain to come and willingly and resolutely set his face to accomplish God's mission and purpose for Him here on this earth. (I am NOT comparing being in ministry to being Jesus!)

Will I do the same? Will I choose to "not grow weary in doing what is good" and patiently wait for the "harvest in due time"? Now that I am older, more experienced and hopefully a bit wiser and no longer wearing those rose colored glasses, will I have the heart to minister in the reality of this world, saying goodbye forever to the candy coated dream that existed only in my head? Can I continue to say "yes" when I am beginning to realize the cost? Again, I hope so. I truly do hope so. I pray that I will indeed be found faithful above all else and run with endurance the path marked out FOR ME. Now I know it's not all downhill, just because I'm "running for Jesus". The wind is not always at my back and sometimes my shoes are ill fitting, oftentimes I feel tired, and I know that more times than not I am going to be walking through rough terrain, climbing rocky mountains, tramping through swamps and sticky mud, sometimes in the midst of incredible storms with no rain gear! Some days I may be clinging to the edge of a cliff, hanging on for dear life. At times the path may be unmarked and I will have to get out my machete and be a trailblazer, which is hard work. At times the path is well marked through the painful yet enlightening experience of someone who has mercifully gone on before me. And many times I will feel uncertain and even afraid. It's not an easy journey.

But now I know, or at least I am beginning to know. I know what I am choosing, I am more aware of what I am saying yes to. I can count the cost and say yes with a confident heart. And one thing I do know. The way is not always dark or lonely - at times on this journey of ministry I have seen the most heavenly vistas imaginable. I have seen and touched the divine, been a witness to the holy, been awed and priveleged to participate in eternity! Those views are breathtaking and life changing. I know this is where I belong and I feel a great "yes" in my soul in serving Him.

And through it all I must not keep my eyes on my feet, or on the rocks or mud or dark clouds. I must set my eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfector of my faith, the One who calls. I must cling only to His hand. And when I look up to Him I realize another glad truth. I am surrounded by others also on the journey. I am not alone.

Thank you for sharing in the journey. Blessings as you seek to answer God's calling on your life!

Who will lead?

One question I have been asked over and over again is "Who will lead worship while you are gone?". I am happy to say that we have many talented leaders to lead our church family in worship - and they all have a very passionate heart for seeing the church worship and God glorified. I am thankful that they have all agreed to help out by leading worship some in my absence. If you are at The Brook, I encourage you to come into worship during this time with an open heart and a desire to learn. All of our worship leaders have something unique to offer and you will grow as you are blessed to sit under their leadership. I just know God will speak to you in fresh ways! There are many things you can learn from their leadership that you may not ever learn from me. Different abilities, different personalities, different experiences  - these all make worship leaders, well, different! And that is a wonderful thing! As you sit under different lead worshipers, God will help you stretch and grow in new ways.

I'll take some time over the next few weeks to introduce these wonderful leaders to you. I want to start today by introducing to you Sheila Pierce, who will not only lead worship several times, but will also act as the worship ministry's administrator in my absence. She was gracious enough to volunteer for this in order to help me out and I thank God for Sheila. Not only is she a great friend, she is a passionate worshiper and has such an open heart to learn! She also loves me and cares for me and is a very special gift from God in my life. Sheila hails from New Hampshire but says she's found her home in Alabama as it is warm here and the people are very welcoming! She is married to Tim and they have two children, Micah and Alana. She is the life of the party where ever she goes and is a true people person - she just makes everyone feel welcomed and loved. Sheila, like me, has served in worship ministry almost all of her adult life and has learned much along the way. Sheila formerly served as worship leader for The Well, a church plant of The Brook. As she served, she gained so much valuable experience that will benefit our church and team. She attends the Integrity Worship Institute with me and has consistently shown a desire to learn and grow as a leader and as a worshiper. She has led worship for some of our communion services and I have loved the times we've led together! She is a very instinctive worship leader and I know you'll enjoy her leadership. She is also heading up a periodic worship choir to add to our services at The Brook - so watch for info on that. I look forward to seeing how God will grow Sheila and continue to use her to help all of us grow in our desire for God. The best thing I can say about Sheila is that she desires God with all of her heart. I think the thing she "brings to the table" is her desire to know God and to worship Him with her whole being. Yes, she has a beautiful voice and plays keyboard wonderfully and is a very capable leader. But I think that the most touching and impactful thing she has to offer is simply her own walk as a worshiper of Christ. Her heart is what will touch you most of all.

Please pray for Sheila as she prepares to lead. Pray for her family as she works on the administrative side of worship ministry and is away from home. Pray for her to be anointed with the power of the Holy Spirit as she leads in worship. Pray for her to hear from God and to be guided by the Spirit as she leads. And pray for her to have a patient, wise and understanding heart as she steps into this new role to help out. I have no doubt God will use her greatly! I know you will be blessed as you come to know her and see her heart.

Thanks, Sheila!

Divine Detours

  A couple of Sundays ago, Richard taught on how God uses the "divine detours" in our lives to honor Him and to bring us to maturity, to places of ministry, and yes, to places we would never choose on our own. It got me to thinking of some of those divine detours in my own life.......

1) My first date with Phil was to my Junior Prom. I was dating a guy from Owens Cross Roads and the week of the prom, with my dress already bought, he told me he had to work. I have no doubt this was God's hand at work. After refusing my father's offer to escort me (can you imagine that there are many things more embarrassing than that, although it was a sweet offer) I phoned Phil to ask him to go with me just as a friend. It was not a real date, but God had other plans. I knew that night - at 17 years old - that Phil and I would get married. I had found my soul mate. Thank God for that divine detour!

2) At the age of 21 I had two children. I was 2/3 of the way through college and just decided I needed to stay home and be mommy. I never was really sure what I wanted to major in, having been counseled many times to avoid a music or vocal degree. I was headed towards a nursing degree but my heart was not in it. God once again had other plans. I still don't have my degree and I suppose you could argue that I wasted time and money on what classes I did take. But I am now doing what I want to be doing - leading worship and serving in ministry. This is what I was called to do. So I thank God for using what seemed like not only a detour but a dead end. I not only am where God wants me to be, doing what God wants me to do, but I also got to stay home with my kids, which I loved.

3) Phil and I spent about 8 pretty happy years in a church that I felt comfortable and settled in. We served as youth leaders and I sang on the praise team. I thought we would be there forever. But God had other plans. When some very odd and unsound doctrine began to be taught we knew we had to make a hard choice. I thought I would never sing again. I imagined going to a big church and sitting on the back row because I could not imagine saying "hey, I want to sing!". God spoke to me in a dream - no I'm not crazy - and gave me a vision of myself leading worship and filled my heart with a great peace and joy. I woke up aware that God had visited me in a very profound way. Since I had NEVER led worship this should have made me quite nervous! But only a few months later I was indeed leading worship at a small church plant, something I had never ever even considered. Another divinely appointed detour from my own script of my life.

4) After serving for 3 years at this small church, the leadership decided that the position of worship leader should not be filled by a woman. This was perhaps the most supremely humiliating experience of my life - an experience that would mark me and bring me grief and fill my heart with many, many questions for the next 11 years. I was crushed, humiliated, hurt and very, very lost. I stayed on the worship team and tried to "submit" and have a clean heart. I didn't talk about it. It took me 6 months to admit to my mother what had happened. I was embarrassed to the depths of my being. I thought my dream was dead. I wondered if this meant God could not or would not use me. I was confused. I thought the story was over. Then, just as the church decided to close it's doors (80% of church plants do not survive 5 years) Phil got a call asking if I might be interested in leading worship for another church plant. To be honest I was not thrilled - I was terrified. But God had more as He placed me on a little planting team preparing to begin a church in a storefront on Hway 72 in Madison. That group of 22 people is now "The Brook"!

5) And finally, the past two years have not been in my plan! I was at a happy place in ministry when things began to unravel and tragedy struck and I entered a world of seemingly never ending crisis and difficulty and loss. But even in this sad time, God has used the circumstances to mature me, to mold me, to draw me to Him, to refine me and make me - I pray - more like Him. No, I don't believe He caused a friend to take her own life - the first tragedy I walked through almost two years ago. But I believe He has worked in me as I have grieved and learned and grown as a result. I hope and pray that I am a stronger leader now, a more mature believer and follower of Christ. I believe this time as well is a great part of my story - and that God will not waste any of my pain.

As I write this I am reminded of the simple truth that "God's ways are not our ways". He does indeed move in mysterious ways. But Psalm 139 promises that "He both precedes and follows me, He places His hand of blessing on my head." That is all I ask - that He walk WITH me.

What divine detours can you thank God for in your own life?

Anticipation

It's been said that anticipation and expectation are 50% of the joy of living. Looking forward to something allows us to "live into" something and enjoy it even before we actually experience it. We think about it, plan, dream, and experience the emotions that come with enjoying whatever the event may be before we EVER experience it. I've noticed this truth in my own life. I can live for months planning a special vacation, envisioining what we'll do and see and eat! It's true even for small events too. I had promised myself a hot stone massage using my gift cards just as soon as I lost 10 lbs. So I booked it and looked forward to it for two weeks. This week was quite difficult but I kept promising myself that on Friday I would truly take the day off and have my long awaited massage! So it gave me something to look forward to and in some ways I enjoyed my massage much longer than the 90 minutes it actually took today!

The same is already true of my time of sabbatical. I got so exhausted and worn out and felt so grieved that it was hard to imagine feeling any different. Bottom line, I was just tired to the core of my being. So once the decision was made for this time of rest to be available to me, I began to feel rested and rejuvenated some almost immediately. As I thought of what would bring me joy and rest and rejuvenation, I actually began to feel better! And as my time away comes even closer I truly am filled with a great anticipation for what God will do, for the rest I will get, the places I will see, the time with my family.

There is more to it than just a psychological hope. Anticipation and Expectation, in the spiritual sense, really are attitudes of faith. When we expect God to move and anticipate that He will do so, that indicates that we believe and have faith that He will move and that He has great plans in store!

Right now I am looking forward - with great expectation - to:

- Two days this week with Phil - one of them spent celebrating "Valentine's Day" together!

- Our upcoming Wholehearted Worship Ministry Retreat! Not only will my team spend three days together worshiping, singing, learning, and laughing, but my great friend Kelly will be our worship leader and teacher. I know God has great things in store for us as we retreat together.

- Reaching my 20 pound loss mark - by then I should be able to fit into a lower size pants and it should be obvious that I've lost some weight.

- Easter!

- My Sabbatical for obvious reasons - I anticipate that God will speak to me in some very deep ways and provide healing, and rest and renewal in my relationships. I can't wait to see what I discover.

- Going to Kaua'i with Phil in May! No explaination needed!

- Going to see Lana in Germany - hiking together, sightseeing and just hours of girl's talk.

What are you anticipating?