Communicate Lovingly

Tonight I introduced a new "standard" for the worship ministry at The Brook.

Wholehearted - our worship ministry - has three goals:

1) Worship God and lead others to do the same.

2) Grow in an obedient relationship with Christ and model that.

3) Love one another and live in a gracious, redemptive community.

Worship. Grow. Obey. Together.

Tonight I introduced a new standard for us as we focus on #3 and purpose to love one another and live in a gracious, redemptive community. Here is the gist of it......

We will - first of all - believe the absolute best about one another and not make negative assumptions. If we wonder about something and have a question, we will take the time to ask and seek to understand. Finally, we will love one another enough to make it a priority to communicate all complaints via phone or face to face and NOT use email to vent frustration or to communicate negatively in any way.

While I've always taught the first part - believe the best, don't assume the worst and ask if you have a question, the last part was new. No nasty emails. It's our new rule. If it needs to be said and is negative, we'll love one another enough to go to one another.

It's not the easiest thing to do. But I think it's the right thing to do.

What do you think?

Comments

[Bobby Craig]

Jan...I've been in ministry for over 15 years...with bachelor and masters degrees in church music and this is one of the most consise and best formulated plans to get a music ministry on the same page. Worship. Grow. Obey...this is great. Can I start using it? :)

My organist...also my keyboardist in the praise band...has that nasty habit of sharing frustration in email. The other day, his comment was only one sentence fragment, "So I guess what you're saying is that I'm just a selfish jerk..." What I was saying was that he needed to focus less on himself and how things affected him and turn that focus to God. I guess it didn't come across that way...again - through email. So, I totally agree...email is not a good way to communicate the deeper things (though it is tremedously helpful for general announcements, service plans and ideas, last minute changes..etc.)

Thanks Jan, I've enjoyed reading your blog. I also noticed we have a similar "home" location. I'm from Moulton, AL and remember my first fishing trip to Lake Guntersville. My dad worked in Huntsville, my mom in Decatur...so I'm a north Alabama boy. God bless you as you continue serving Him!

[Jan Owen]

Bobby, feel free to use whatever you can learn from what I write. That's why I post it and would be happy to share.

I have seen so many situations simply blow up because email is used inappropriately. It's a great time saver but as you said, should be reserved for general info, etc. Or happy thoughts. I'll take those any day!

Welcome to A Worshipful Heart and thanks for commenting.

[Billy Chia]

Jan,
This is key. There is no better solution than direct, honest contact.

The parking lot conversation doesn't work.

Ranting to their superior doesn't work.

"Dropping a hint" doesn't work.

You need to go to THAT person in a direct, honest and kind way.

[Paul Kuzma]

This is GREAT stuff Jan, for ALL Ministry Teams. I try to bring such reminders to our Teams at least 1-2 times a year. I try to use conflict when it arises to platform these kinds of guidelines for how we communicate with each other.

You go!