Worshiping Alone

Today the worship sevice I attended was a little unusual. For starters, there was just me. In my living room. All alone.

You see on Wednesday morning I arrived at the local Urgent Care facility with a raging fever (over 103) and was diagnosed with Type A Flu, most probably the dreaded A1N1, better known as "swine flu". As soon as this was determined, everyone around me slapped on masks and hurried me out the door. They wouldn't even let me pay!

So in light of all the panic and worry and fear - and to avoid spreading anything - Brian (our Lead Pastor) and I decided it would be wise for me to remain at home this morning and not lead worship. I knew my team would do a great job without me but I really missed being at The Brook this morning with all my friends. It was very lonely to be at home alone. I've only led worship ONE Sunday in June! I'm missing that as well, but most of all I've missed worshiping TOGETHER. I was so looking forward to the worship set planned for today and felt somewhat depressed at the thought of missing it.

To combat my depression, I put on Gateway's "Wake Up the World" album (one of my favs) and started cleaning up the house a bit, singing at the top of my lungs "The Lord reigns, the Lord reigns, the Lord reigns, we will sing and shout! You reign, You reign, You reign, forever King of all!". Then I moved on to singing "God of My Days" and "You are Good".

As I sang the words to "You Are Good", the truth really pierced my heart: "You are good, You are good, You are good and Your mercy lasts forever! Your mercy is forever, Your kindness is forever, Your goodness is forever, forever!" I just had to sit still before the Lord with that word for a bit and so I just sat and worshiped for a bit. I journaled and I even started a new song (Breathe on Me)......and I had a word from God. God preached a sermon straight to my heart, knowing I needed to hear from Him today as I had "church" all alone at home.

This is an excerpt from my journaling this morning: "I have realized that I've allowed myself to start down the slippery slope of being obsessed with "doing" - with what's next on the agenda to accomplish and finish." One of my own personal "biggest temptations" that I battle so often is the temptation of being a workaholic, of obtaining my sense of worth from work. As I've struggled with that, God has taught me some painful yet valuable lessons.

I realized today that one of the biggest lessons I've ever learned has been fading a bit - and that is that my "doing" MUST flow out of my being with God and also out of my becoming more like Christ. Anything else is ultimately futile and even forced - and they are birthed out of my own effort, not necessarily out of the Spirit of God. Sometimes the thing I MUST do is simply to sit at the feet of Jesus and spend time with Him.

Not to get marching orders.

Not to receive guidance.

Not to know how to do ministry.

Simply to take joy in being with Him.

That was my worship service this morning. What was your Sunday like? What did God say to you?

**This post is a part of Sunday Setlists over at FredMcKinnon.Com. **

Comments

[steff]

I hope you feel better soon Jan. It sounds like you had a wonderful time of worship at home :)