I did not have a particularly good day today. Nothing bad happened, it was just a tough day for me emotionally. Many times I just wanted to twitter (which goes on my Facebook status) "waaaaaaa!!!! I just want to go back to bed and stay there!" On days like this I find it hard to know how to share my life online. I waver between just not sharing at all, to feeling like a fake when I share something inane about my day.
Let's face it, when we are struggling, it seems almost silly to share what we had for dinner, or whatever else we might usually share. On the other hand, it can be harmful to "overshare". It can alarm our mothers :), and might cause problems in our relationships if our angst is due to another person. And to be honest, so much of our stress seems to be due to conflict with those we care about. So if we share that we're angry right after a confrontation with a loved one, is that right? It seems like that might cause speculation and more hurt feelings.
So, it's hard to know how to be authentic without being a bit too open. Generally, I've handled this by sharing in very general ways. I'll say something like "Hope you'll pray for me. Been feeling a bit anxious lately." I never really know if anyone is praying but one time "Anxiety Depression" did start following me on Twitter! So I'm not sure if it's helpful or not.
I do know this. If I should go talk to someone else, or if I should pray about it but instead I post it on Facebook or Twitter, that is not right. If I'm doing it to gain attention or sympathy, that also is not productive. So many times I've chosen just to not update at all - I wanted my motives to be pure, I didn't want to upset anyone, or cause questions, and yet I felt like it wouldn't be at all authentic to share something very mundane. I just avoided sharing all together. Yet isn't it the goal of social media - especially in the circle of Believers - to grow community and awareness of one another's lives?
What do you think? How honest should we be online? What are the limits and parameters?
How do you handle days when you're not sure you should share how you feel?
Have you ever shared something and then regretted it or had it cause a problem?
Being a man, I tend to want to fix things but in this instance, I think you have the right perspective. I believe its better not to share if you don't want to. No one will have a cow if you don't post every thought of every day. If you didn't want to tell a close friend in your hometown about what's going on, why share it with the world? I don't think there's anything wrong with a "tough day, please pray" post at all. If appropriate, update after the fact.
Several times I've posted things that made me feel better and I regretted it as soon as I hit "post". You can't take the post back. Sometimes some things should be left unsaid.
Most of the times my best posts get deleted before posting.
Posted by: Mark Triplett | October 07, 2009 at 06:18 PM
I just started a blog myself and I not always honest in how I really feel. I try to be but it is hard even when I type it. How do we feel when we feel like nobody is listening or cares? How do we feel when we feel like nobody else feels like us? Jan you and I are two different places in our lives but we still have some of the same feelings...... Just remember that is okay and that your "motives" are pure. Jan just remember we are here for God's plan for our lives not OURs. But it up to us Ato realize and seek HIS plan. This has been a hard thing for us......but we came to the realization that it is HIS plan. We are just vessels to care that plan out.
love ya.....rhonda
Posted by: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1360357531 | October 07, 2009 at 10:41 PM
Totally agree with your approach, but I'm a natually cautious person so it's what comes naturally.
I think that considering before publishing something to world is always very wise. The Biblical principle of guarding your tongue covers this sort of thing as well I believe.
Posted by: David | October 08, 2009 at 12:57 AM