Taking it Easy

The last couple of weeks have been full. To say the least. Cleaning out my office. My first training trip. My last Sunday at The Brook. Saying so many tearful good-byes. My Dad's surgery for cancer. A wedding. A bad cold. These weeks have been full of emotion and a bit physically tiring as well. It's felt a bit like falling off a hundred foot cliff. Overwhelming is the word I'd use. Tears are always close to the surface, a sure sign that my reserves are very low. 

So I'm taking a bit of a break right now. I'm sitting around in my sweatpants and old ratty Alabama sweatshirt, watching movies and eating ice cream. I'm sleeping in and going to bed early. I'm taking hot baths and reading a good book. I'm skipping the makeup and I don't care. To be honest I've not accomplished much of anything the last couple of days. I just feel exhausted and I don't really have the desire yet to write, or to work on curriculum again, or to start raising my support for the Give Worship Project, Inc. I'm just tired, from the inside out, from the top of my head to the tip of my toes. I'm depleted. 

The adrenaline rush is over, and I'm left sitting here trying to recover. I know the day will come that I once again feel normal, but that day is not today. It may not be tomorrow. It might not even be next week. But it will come. For today life feels unreal and very alien. I'm not sure how to operate in this new phase of life.

So for now, I will rest. My body. My mind. Even my emotions. I'll take some time to take it easy. To watch a funny movie, to take a nap, to take a slow walk, to read a book, and to not think too awfully hard.

And slowly, over time, maybe I will feel like myself again. And I can adapt to this new reality that is now my life. And I can walk forward into all God has for me.

Change is hard. I can only put my hand in God's hand and trust Him as we walk together one step at a time.

Comments

[Nancy]

Jan,

Here's a quote posted on Facebook by an old friend today that I thought you would appreciate: "I am your best Friend, as well as your King. Walk hand in hand with Me through your life. Together we will face whatever each day brings; pleasures, hardships, adventures, disappointments. Nothing is wasted when it is shared with Me." From Nearer to Jesus.

[Alison]

So glad you are having some time to rest - you need it and deserve it! Just caught up on your DR posts (I'm very behind on Google Reader!) - just beautiful and exciting and answers to prayer all wrapped up in one! It was awesome to see your vision come alive! Love you!