A Worshipful Heart

Looking Ahead to 2010

Well it's that time again. That time when the entire world is making resolutions about how they will spend the upcoming year. There's just something about the fresh beginnings that gives us permission to start over and encouragement to adjust our priorities so we can truly live the life we've always wanted. But not only is it the beginning of a new calendar year, it's also the beginning of a new physical year for me because my birthday lands at the beginning of each year on January 3rd. 

To be honest I'm a bit opposed to resolutions, but I love setting goals and taking an honest look at my life and priorities. But I'll be truthful. Looking ahead to 2010 has been a bit of a challenge. I am not presently employed. I've started a new ministry. My house if for sale but we don't know where we are supposed to move to. So many details of my life seem unclear! So how can I plan for a future that is so unknown? In praying about how to spend the next year of my life I felt God giving me direction about how to spend my days and to prioritize my time. Each day will look different I'm sure, but every day I will have a few things that I keep as priorities. So here is what I'm focusing on in my everyday life in 2010 - and my 44th year of life.

Every day I will spend time on these things:

1) Time with God - if it's the only thing I get done, I will spend time with God each day. 

2) Exercise and strengthen my body, losing weight along the way. For right now this is my #2 priority every day. God has shown me that this cannot be something I do when I have extra time. It is to be a part of my "work" each day. One element of this is to drink 100 oz of water a day and fast from sugar for the month of January. (after my birthday of course) 

3) Read - I am happiest when I am learning. This spring I cannot go back to school or take a class due to my travel and missions schedule, but I can make reading a priority. I have made a list of books to read this year - some are on missions, some on worship, some on the plight of women, some on prayer and spiritual disciplines. They are varied, but they will help me continue to grow and learn. My goal is to read at least twelve non-fiction books.

4) Ministry - I obviously will have work to do for the Give Worship Project, Inc. Although this ministry is just beginning, there is much to be done. From continuing to write curriculum to preparing teaching sessions to fund raising to planning special events to - obviously - traveling and training, there is much to be done.

5) Taking Care of Our Household - Budget is a BIG concern for us as I step out of a paying job while we still have three kids in college. So I'll be working on a personal financial system for our family, continuing to ready our house to sell, organize, clean, take care of Phil and the kids needs and generally be a domestic diva. :) It's been a while. Maybe I'll remember how. 

6) A Renewed Focus on Prayer - I believe that I will be unable to do all God is calling me - and preparing me - to do without times of deep and extended prayer. I will have some days of prayer, and do some prayer walking but I will be praying more every day. Praying for my family, for our future, to know God's will and to follow Him, for The Brook as they look for a new worship leader, for my friends, and for the ministry of Give Worship Project, Inc. 

7) Making Time for Relationships - Every day I will take a moment to focus on doing one thing that is relational. Maybe it's making a phone call, or sending an email or writing a note, or even going to lunch. But I'll do something everyday. Cause if I don't I get lonely and sad and focused mainly on ME! Which is not good.

I also have some dreams for 2010. Some are goals but some are things that I believe only God can orchestrate:

* Book more training trips for the Give Worship Project, Inc and begin to plan return visits for further training of worship leaders. Right now we're looking at possible trips to the Ukraine and Guatemala. And fund all of this work as well, of course!

* Finish and print training curriculum for worship leaders and pastors and have it also translated and printed in Spanish. 

* Minister to leaders, church boards, worship teams, and congregations in the U.S. as well as abroad.

* Complete my certification with Integrity Worship Institute. Only one more class! I'll miss it!

* Continue my education. I have no idea what this looks like. I am not sure whether I'll attempt to complete my Bachelor's Degree or attend something like the Academy for Spiritual Formation with the Upper Room Ministries. 

* Continue to write and finish my book. Who knows what will come of that?

* Find a church home or a form of regular spiritual community.

* Sell our house.

* Do some missions/ministry as a family. Maybe that's just me and Phil, or maybe the kids can join us some.

So what are your goals for 2010?

The Church Can Help Prevent Pastoral Burnout

As we approach the beginning of a new year, we're making plans about how to spend 2010 in healthier and more productive ways. We're thinking of steps we can take, priorities we need to right, and changes that need to occur in our lives. The truth is that while we alone are responsible for making healthy choices, we are often helped by the encouragement of those around us. Whether we're dieting, exercising, taking a weekly sabbath or setting up a regular date night with our spouse, many of our goals require the cooperation of others. 

And this is where the church can help those that minister vocationally. I believe many more pastors - and their spouses - desire to live a healthier lifestyle, to actually have a regular day off, and to spend concentrated time with God than feel able to do so. The sad thing is that most of the time we become workaholics because we love our job, we think about ministry all the time, and we want to make a difference for the Kingdom of God. We truly desire to please and honor God with our work ethic. And so we work  - as I once did - 70-80+ hours a week. We give our entire being to ministry and instead of anyone reigning us in and saying "this is unhealthy", we are instead praised for the very behavior that if practiced long enough may one day kill us, or if we're lucky, only burn us out. 

I myself have walked down this road. For a period of several years I worked well over 70 hours every single week. I rarely had an entire day off. I went to sleep thinking about church, and I woke up thinking about it as well. I lived as if I had no limits and was on the road to burnout and all along that road I was congratulated and applauded for overworking. As a people pleaser, this just added to my workaholic tendencies. 

As a result of this near burnout, I’ve done much research into ways to do ministry in a more healthy manner. I talked to pastors who had gone through similar times in their life. I read books and consulted counselors for their advice. I know that the church does not want our ministers to come to the place of burnout. We want them to learn how to minister in ways that are healthier for them - and for our churches - spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. This will be, in the long run, something that truly honors God and His people. Churches can give their staff the gift of cooperation and encouragement and it will not cost them much money, only time and care to implement. We can choose to give our staff benefits that make for a healthier, happier group of ministers. 

I encourage all church boards, deacons, elders, and lead pastors to take these suggestions and discuss how they might be implemented in your own setting. Your staff needs your encouragement, your permission, and even your accountability so that they minister and live in healthy ways. 

1. Sabbath Sundays - Producing week in and week out is exhausting and is difficult to do. It would be helpful if every ministerial staff member be required to take every 8th Sunday off. This allows them a regular time to sit in worship (at a neighboring church) without worries if they’d like to, or go to the beach or simply stay in their pjs and have an extended quiet time at home. This will encourage staff to reproduce themselves and help them gain an understanding that they cannot be the only one that does their job. Everyone learns to share leadership when time off is also shared. 
2. Personal Retreat Days - Pastors often study the Bible and pray for the sake of everyone but their own relationship with God. Staff could be encouraged to have extended quiet moments with God if churches would give one work day monthly for them to have a personal retreat. Expect them to use it and ask them about it, thus educating and building in some soft accountability. Give resources to help them plan these days and talk about ideas as a team. Make this a core value for your ministers!
3. Staff Pastor/Counselor - We often check on how well people are doing their job, but we don’t often check up on how well they are doing emotionally or even spiritually. Regular, periodic check ups on their mental, emotional and physical state can help encourage them to take steps toward health. If the church has money for it, I’d recommend that they have an account to help staff members with counseling when needed. Many times pastors have no one to talk to as they process the reality of being in ministry. At the very least, provide one staff member as a Staff Pastor to oversee how these staff members are implementing these policies, and to discern if there is a need to send them for further help, etc. 
4. Planning Leave - It would be beneficial to allow two weeks per year for each ministers to help them to leave the constant demands of ministry to work on ministry, not just in it. This leave can be used for planning and preparing ministry ideas and systems. This is also a time to visit other congregations and be inspired and challenged. This should not be seen as a break, because they would work hard during this time. 
5. Renewal Leave - This is often called a Sabbatical, but this leave would be given based on years of service for the purpose of renewal only. Many times I see churches give this only in emergency situations - and I myself took a sabbatical under these circumstances - but this is not the most profitable for the staff member or the church. Renewal leave can proactively rejuvenate a minister and allow them to pay attention to their own health, spiritual passion and families. They will often return to serve with greater vigor and a deeper faith. 

As you enter 2010 take a long look at your work habits in ministry. If you're in the position to help the ministers at your church, I hope you'll share these ideas and help implement them. But one thing is certain. We won't have healthy pastors when expectations and habits are unhealthy. It's time to make changes for a healthier 2010 and future!

** If you'd like to talk personally about how to implement these ideas in your life or your church, please email me at janowen@knology.net. I'd love to consult with you and your church board. **

What Pastors Can Learn From Urban Meyer

Unless you've been out of the country or simply are not a sports fan, you've heard the news about Urban Meyer, head football coach of the Florida Gators. Winning two national championships in five years as well as coaching a Heisman winner put Meyer at the top of his career. Yet he announced Saturday night that he was quitting "for health reasons" and to "get his priorities in order". Then, with everyone still reeling, he announced on Sunday he'd changed his mind and now is going to take "an indefinite leave of absence". Obviously, Coach Meyer felt a great need for a break, to get his life in order, and to get away from the stress. He needed to get off the merry-go-round for a little while.

My husband, who has also served in vocational ministry, made the observation that coaching is alot like being a pastor. You have a staff, you feel the need to care for everything and everybody, and the more successful you are, the more pressure you feel to succeed again. And then there's the competition...... Right or wrong, we are all wanting our churches to be bigger and better. We want to be thought of as successful!

Having spent fifteen years in vocational ministry, I know a bit about the life a pastor leads - and at times suffers from. I also grew up as the daughter of a coach. And I've also taken a sabbatical after an incredibly stress period of ministry. I'm just a little bit familiar with the feeling of being so stressed you want to run away! I believe there is much that those who serve on pastoral staff can learn from the decision Urban Meyer made.

1) We, as pastors, must learn we are not indispensable. We may hate to hear it, but life will go on without us! If we live like we're the only one who can do our job, we will eventually burn out. And when we burn out, we may make bad decisions, lose our passion for God, or even lose our family and health. The price of burn out is HIGH and long lasting. And don't be deceived, the fallout is widespread. It doesn't just affect us, or our families. 

2) We must learn to delegate and thus share the load - and develop the leaders God has provided for us. If we don't listen to the leaders in our church, or allow them to lead, then we are the ones wasting their gifts. I believe we will answer to God for that. Another dangerous outcome, however, is that we and our churches do not benefit from their wisdom and the accountability their insights offer us as pastoral leaders. 

3) We must learn to take regular breaks. I know pastors have a huge load, but we must be humble enough to admit that we are limited. To remember that we are human. To acknowledge that we are not God. God is God, we most definitely are not. When we acknowledge our limits, and rest and care for ourselves, we are saying with our lives that we trust God to run the world - and our churches - without us for a while. 

4) We need to be aware of the state of our own soul, and take time to do regular "soul care". Without it we cannot lead others spiritually. The best gift we can give our congregations - and the Kingdom of God - is a healthy us. Healthy physically yes, but also healthy emotionally and spiritually. Our first priority is to care for our own selves so that we may care for others. Being aware of what is happening inside us spiritually and emotionally is so important for pastors, yet most pastors I know are really not good at this. We are great at caring for others, but struggle to care for ourselves, or even to admit we need care. 

5) We must learn to look to God to feel "successful", not to other pastors. If you base your pace of ministry, decisions about life, and feelings of success etc. on what the most famous pastors do (or what you think they do) you are obviously doomed to almost constant frustration. Ask me how I know! Don't try to keep up with other pastors and churches, but be content with being obedient to the leading of God for you, and your church. 

6) Momentum hides a multitude of sins (or problems). Meyer's problems did not originate November 5, 2009 when he entered the hospital. They started long ago. Perhaps he's a workaholic - most coaches AND pastors are. Maybe he's ignored the stress, the long hours, the health issues, and the way his family may have felt for years. Yes, years. But when you're winning and rolling so gloriously along it's hard to slow down. It's hard to take a break from the momentum, from the adrenaline, from the constant high we get from winning. And so the problems "hide" and don't seem so big. Until we no longer have the gift of momentum. And then the problems seem almost insurmountable. And we are left with no other option but to face them and deal with them. 

What do you think? What lessons could we, as ministers, learn from Urban Meyer?

NEWS FLASH: Santa Claus is a Woman!

 **If you believe in Santa Claus you might want to stop reading now. My recent findings might just rock your Christmas world.**

I believe there has been a eons old cover up surrounding Christmas, and more specifically surrounding the revered figure of Santa Claus. All pictures of Santa show a male figure, rotund in shape, with white hair and a full snowy beard. His job is depicted as keeping a list of not only who is good and bad each year, but what they want for Christmas, ensuring each gift is handmade and then delivering them all over the world - in one night. 

Well, I'm here to blow his cover. I have discovered - without a doubt - that Santa Claus is a woman. Think about it. No offense to my many male friends, but do you know ANY man who could keep up with the behavior (or even pay attention to?) of all the children in the world AND what they'd want for Christmas? This right here eliminates Santa as a man for me. Most men I know are wandering around a mall one day this week doing some "power shopping" for the one of two gifts they are responsible for. For years my dad shopped for my mom on Christmas Eve. So the idea of any guy planning ahead, and making gifts all year long is clearly ludicrous. Keeping up with all the myriad of Christmas "musts" requires goddess like skills. 

Guys, I know this is crushing. Who wouldn't want to be Santa? This Christmas icon whizzes thru the sky at high speeds, racing 747's then rappels off of roofs, dropping down chimneys. And of course, eats lots and lots of cookies. I'll admit that these activities sound slightly more masculine perhaps. After all, my mother always taught me that the way to any man's heart is through his stomach. Most women might be substituting a Diet Coke at all those stops. And we wouldn't want you to leave cookies, as chocolate is our drug of choice. So I'll admit that the public image of Santa makes it easier to believe this favorite Christmas character is male. 

But I'm sorry. After planning Christmas parties, family gatherings, thinking about creative and loving gifts, shopping for everyone from kids to teachers, baking hundreds of cookies, wrapping presents, writing cards to everyone we've ever known to wish them a Merry Christmas, and delivering gifts for the past 25 years I've reached the stunning conclusion that it's all a cover up. The domain of Santa Claus - preparing for Christmas, remembering all the details, carrying out all the planning, thinking of all those people to be rewarded or thanked or encouraged, and then organizing this grand event is done all over the world every year by women. Not men. (usually, although I'd be happy to be proven wrong) 

So after doing the mad Christmas dash - once again - and LOVIN' IT, I'm here to be the first to break this story. Santa Claus is a woman. And "his" sleigh is a mini-van. 

A Visit to Epic

Today we visited Epic Church in Decatur. Visiting churches is still - on the best of days - painful for me. I simply miss my friends, and feeling a part of a family when we're at church. But anyway, Phil had discovered this newer church (2 years old) via their website and was intrigued by them so we went to visit this morning. They purposefully do not focus on facilities and meet in a very small building, running multiple services each Sunday to fit everyone in. I got to meet the pastor and his wife - he preaches barefoot and I am curious to hear that story! They were friendly and welcoming and that always helps when you're visiting. 

Today was their Christmas service so there was not much participation. We mainly watched the service that had music interwoven with videos and some sharing by the pastor on our longing for home and how that is so intensified at Christmas. They used some fun, familiar recordings of current Christmas music like you'd hear on the radio for pre-service music and during the service they did "Joy to the World" (not sure who they covered on this one or if it was original), "Home for Christmas" (Eagles), "The Glory of It All" (Crowder) and some other songs I didn't know. I really enjoyed the music although I would have enjoyed signing along more!

Although we still don't have a clue where God is leading us, each time seems to be a little easier. It's really interesting to note that some things that I really liked as a leader actually bother me as a visitor. I noticed one of these things in particular this morning. As a worship pastor, I loved a packed house. I would have been thrilled if every seat was filled every Sunday because it creates an amazing energy. But as a visitor this morning in a crowded service I was SO uncomfortable to be in the seat right next to someone I did not know, brushing up against them, with no personal space. If it had been a friend I don't think it would have bothered me, but it was a hard thing to sit like that with someone I did not know. So, another lesson learned from the pew, so to speak! 

I am learning another lesson this Christmas this year as well. And that is compassion for those who are "adrift" at this time of year. Whether you are far from home, new in town, without family, or facing some other challenge in life, it all feels so much heavier to go through at Christmas. I've struggled with deep loneliness at a time we are supposed to be celebrating the joy of relationships so my compassion and empathy for those who feel alone during this holiday has increased. Perhaps God will enlarge my heart as I cling to Him during this time.......

Wishing you all a wonderful Christmas, full of joy and wonder at "the glory of it all - He is here."

This post is a part of Sunday Setlists over at FredMcKinnon.Com.

Christmas Wishes

We all have wishes and dreams for Christmas. Things we hope for. A list of things we believe will make life more fulfilling in the future or Christmas more perfect right now. For most of us, having our family together would be considered a huge ingredient to any Christmas and it is a dream we all harbor for our own holidays. Perhaps we have things we hope to see come to pass in the new year that waits just around the bend - only a few days ahead of us. Christmas is a season of dreams....of tapping into our often repressed and hidden desires and allowing ourselves to wish, to hope, to dream. 

This Christmas is one of the strangest ones of my life. I am in a time of great transition. There are very few concrete "knowns" in my life. Changes abound. Right now in my life I have more questions than answers. Way more questions. And it's disconcerting. In a season that we long for peace, I find myself strangely unsettled. While I am so thankful for my blessings, I have felt the uncertainties of my life weighing on me heavily this Christmas. As a result, I've spent alot of time thinking about what I hope for in 2010.

So here's what I want for Christmas this year:

1) True spiritual community - and I'm not picky. While I'd prefer a church home, I'd be happy to have a small group of friends to "keep me company" spiritually and to journey with me during this time of my life. It would take some SPECIAL friends to help me as I pray and seek God for the future and sort out the questions.

2) Physical stamina and strength - and some more willpower as well! I need to be stronger - and thinner - but I've lacked motivation in this battle. I've felt a little hopeless. A workout partner would be nice as well!

3) Renewed creativity and wonder. Right now the eyes of my soul are a bit weary. I want more childlike wonder to invade my heart and as a result be inspired and creative. 

4) Encouragement - and a vision for how God could use my gifts and talents for the sake of His Kingdom. 

4) Opportunities to minister to others, particularly those in leadership.

5) Guidance and clarity for our family as we seek to serve God together. 

6) Wisdom on how to parent adult children.

7) God's provision and will for my children as they graduate from college - that they would have the careers and jobs God has for them and be adequately provided for as they support themselves. 

8) A mentor as I enter a new phase of ministry. 

9) Holy appointments ordained by God!

10) More wisdom, discernment, compassion, joy and love in my life.

So that's what's on my Christmas list. What's on yours?

Waiting expectantly for Phil to walk in the door so we can hit the interstate to NYC!

Take Time to Notice

Being in the busy city this week has made me feel, well, a bit invisible. This is not really tourist season, so everywhere I go people are rushing around in their business clothes, toting their briefcases, talking on their cell phones, obviously with somewhere important to go and someone important to talk. Probably they are on their way to make a huge government decision or to crash a party at the White House. *smile*

But in the midst of these successful, busy people scurrying around, I've been wandering around in my jeans, checking my metro map every so often, not always certain of my direction, taking my time and very rarely has anyone even made eye contact with me. It's a bit odd, to walk around in a crowd and to feel so terribly isolated. It's as if we're all together....yet all alone, all at the same time. I don't know if it's fear, self-absorption, or simply that we'd rather not be bothered.

But I had two moments yesterday that stand out in my mind.....

An older woman stopped me and asked me to help her. She had no idea how to buy a metro ticket, she didn't have a map, or really seem to know where she was going. In halting English she told me where she was trying to go. I explained that I was not from D.C. but I gave her a metro map I had in my purse, helped her purchase a ticket, explained how to get there and get back, and silently prayed she would be okay! It was probably the first conversation of any sort I'd had with anyone while out and about.

It felt good to take a moment, to slow down, and to notice another human being.

And then on my way back to the hotel, a young man stopped and held the door open for me, and it felt good to be the one that was noticed for a moment. Instead of being rushed, or pushed, or having someone be impatient with me, I had someone wait on me in a small way. It was nice. It brightened my day.

So brighten someone's day....slow down enough to stop and notice someone else. That's a gift!

I thought Bama would win....and here's why!

 
 I know what you're thinking. AFTER the game it's easy to say "I called that one!". And "Yeah, yeah, Jan, you're a huge Bama fan so of course you have to say that". And yes, I am very much a Tide fan - from birth. I watched the game yesterday with much screaming and jumping, and all sorts of other craziness. But it wasn't just blind adoration and family tradition that made me say I thought this was Bama's year. Here's why I thought Bama would win....and Florida would not.

1) Florida simply did not have the team they did last year. We played so many of the same teams and Florida never really looked to be decisively better in those contests. It was obvious to me that they weren't playing with the same talent as last year.

2) There was alot of pressure on this Florida team. You heard their players mention again and again how they were feeling the pressure. This wasn't a good kind of pressure, but an unrealistically high expectation that I felt sure they would crack under. Their press was better than their reality.

3) Same thing for Tebow. I think he's a great guy, a wonderful athlete, a quality person. But the press built him up to the point that ANY mistake was unacceptable. Listening to sportscasters you'd think he was a miracle worker of Biblical proportions. I actually felt sorry for him. I can't imagine how it would feel to be so highly touted - there was nowhere to go but down, even if it was just a little. Again, who can live up to the expectation of being perfect? No one that is human can do so. 

4) Alabama thrives as the underdog. When the whole world was picking Florida to win, I thought "Go ahead. It will just inspire our team more." Remember the National Championship Game in '92? The only sportscaster I remember picking Bama was Craig James and he was laughed at! Very few sports professionals chose Bama to win in this contest as well. Just like in the title game of '92 I think it inspired Bama to go out and give it more than their best. Add the terrible loss last year to the mix and I felt like Bama came into the game with nowhere to go but up. I believe - between two teams that are pretty equally talented - that it's an easier task emotionally and psychologically to upset than to defend. 

5) I believe Nick Saban is the smarter coach. I know this is just my opinion but I thought coaching would play a big part in this game. I think his team was better prepared. And Nick doesn't have a record of losing to someone twice in a row!!!

6) I also felt that Bama was not given the respect they deserved all season. They had a fairly tough schedule in a very tough conference. I felt like they were capable of a win if they kept their head in the game. We have some incredible players that just really brought it home in yesterday's game. I think they proved they were better than many people thought.

I know I don't have any stats for you, and much of what I thought was based on instinct and gut reactions, but I'm thrilled that I was right and we did get the win. An SEC Championship and trip to the National Championship Game is certainly sweet. And whether or not you pull for the Tide, you'll have to admit it was an unbelievable game, a great day in College Football. 

Come on Tide.....keep on Rollin'!

What Are You Listening To?

Keeping it light this morning! I am in the market for some new Christmas music and wondered if y'all could help me out. What Christmas music are you listening to right now? What's some of your favorite albums, old or new, secular or sacred, instrumental or vocal?

I'd love some fresh music this Christmas season!