A Worshipful Heart

The Road Home: News From the Owen Family

They say you can never go home. And I guess in some ways that's true. We can never truly re-create what we had when we were children. Progress occurs. People move, grow older or pass away. Buildings are destroyed. Relationships change. Life happens.

Perhaps most of all, WE change. We come back as different individuals than we were when we left.

And yet this is exactly what Phil and I feel God calling us to do.

To go home.

Move back to the country. (yes, you could even say we're moving back to the sticks!) Be nearer our parents. Go back to our roots. Find a true home once again.

And although we will go back as different people than we were when we left Marshall County 27 years ago, we still feel a deep attachment to this area and to this way of life. I've had to face it. I'm a country girl and always will be. I like dirt roads and exploring in the woods. I enjoy waking up to the sound of birds and having SPACE. I'd rather wear flip flops than high heels. And I love to sit and look at the river - or better yet, get out on it and play! 

So today is a very special day for us. We are seeing an answer to prayer before our eyes. They are breaking ground on our building lot that sits on a bluff on the east side of Grant Mountain (between Guntersville and Scottsboro but up on the edge of the mountain). By Christmas our house should be complete. And we'll be home again.

It's going to be different. Life will not be the same. We will certainly have to "remember" what it's like living so far from the nearest grocery story (or Chick-fil-a!!!). I'll have to plan a bit more to visit with friends. But we are extremely excited! We feel like this is the beginning of a new chapter in our lives - a bit of a fresh start, if you will. One we're looking forward to!

Since my resignation from The Brook in the fall of 2009 and the onset of "empty nest", we've struggled to find "home". Church has been hard. Living in Madison has - on some days - been full of painful reminders. Additionally, we have felt certain that God was preparing us for a move for some time now. We felt consistently drawn to the countryside and water, but couldn't feel true peace about where we should be. While we were at the beach this summer, on June 23, I wrote this in my prayer journal:

"I would like to live here or some place like this, surrounded by nature.... and a constant view of God's handiwork. Where do you want us to be Lord? Where would you have us to go? If it is a place like this, help provide for us and show us the direction to take. Light our path. I am seeing more and more that a place to call home is important. Sometimes I long for a fresh start, a place where I feel free to begin again and truly be myself.....I am longing for home."  

Who knew that the answer to this prayer would be to move "back home"? So simple we almost missed it!

Things have fallen into place easily thus far and we feel a deep peace as we prepare for this move. And as you can see below, we have been given a beautiful place to build a home. We will certainly be "surrounded by views of God's handiwork"! 

We thank God for all He has provided! And we thank Him for guiding our steps!

 

As you can see, we have a few trees to cut down! When we thin this out we'll have a gorgeous view off of the bluff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's hard to tell due to the trees but this is the bluff. I'm going to set my Adirondack chair (when I get one of course) here and have my quiet times underneath this tree!

 

 

 

 

**The photo above of the road was taken by my mother, Linda Johnson. Technically, it was taken in Dekalb County, but it was indeed taken "on the way home".**

Advice From a Healing Heart: How to Cope During Transitions

Times of transition are stressful. Even if the transition is positive it's still filled with stress. And many of us have walked through times of transition that felt more like a never-ending desert of the soul. Maybe you know what I mean and you feel lost right now, wandering from point A to point B, wondering if you'll ever arrive and - maybe more importantly - you'll ever heal from all you've gone through.

Several months ago I posted "I Quit: Lessons Learned from Leaving a Church" on here and it seemed to really hit home for many people. In response to that I wanted to share a few things I've learned about walking through transition. While I write this from the perspective of looking for a new church home and redefining my role as a minister, I think these truths are applicable to all kinds of transition. I hope they help a few fellow wanderers out there who wonder - as I have - when if you'll ever feel "at home" again....

1. Be patient with yourself. God is at work in you during this transition time as well. Sometimes we look at transitions as things just to be gotten through quickly. But they are pivotal moments in our lives and that's one of the key things I'm learning - that God is active and alive in our lives at all times. Lean into the work He is doing in your life today. It's a beautiful thing. Spend time with the Lord seeking his face. He will heal you, guide you, speak to you. Enjoy the journey no matter how long it takes to get to the destination you are so desperate for. The in-between places are holy because we must cling to God all the more. Enjoy seeking him without the distractions you've had in the past. Also, be aware that many times it will feel like two steps forward, one step back. It's not quick and easy....it's not linear. But make no mistake about it - God is at work. Lean into him.

2. Be patient with the process. When we have a deep attachment to our previous set of circumstances (job, church, relationship, etc.)  it's my opinion and observation that it will take longer to fit in somewhere else and to truly feel at home. We may be grieving a loss, fighting not only discouragement but a bit of disappointment as well. That takes time to work through. There are things you may have to wrestle with and these times of wrestling may actually be preparing you for what comes next. I know it's not fun but just realize that this might move more slowly than you'd like because you are healing and working through things. You'll do great one day and fall apart the next. That must be normal because it's been the story of my life! But I find that the bad days are further apart and I shake them off easier now. 

3. Give relationships time and attention. You may have really good friends that you can be completely honest with. If so, spend time with them. They are a gift. Go to lunch, invite them over, start a book club or Bible study - but invest in those friends. If they are still a part of your "old" circumstances, it may feel a bit awkward at first. You may have to work hard at being the one who initiates, but remember that you're looking for fresh common ground with these friends. We get lazy in our friendships and only talk about our commonalities such as church or work. Now you're forging ahead in a different way with these friends. There is a work of redefining going on. If the relationships are worth keeping then do what you can to keep them. Just realize there's some awkwardness to this adjustment and also that not all friends will go with you down this path. That's one of the saddest things to realize - that some people were really not true friends, they were convenient acquaintances. Once the convenience wasn't there (going to church together each week), the relationship fades. And sometimes that's really okay. But it may take a while to realize and appreciate that.

4. Practice Thanksgiving. For months after I resigned my staff position and left the church I truly loved, I was resentful. (I still have moments if I'm honest) I felt like my entire world had crumbled. Church had defined my life and world and I was lost without it. I had to start doing something to focus my mind on what was true and good in my life. So every evening I began to take a "thanksgiving walk". I would walk for 45 minutes - 1 hour and the entire time I had to pray prayers of thanksgiving. I would not allow myself to pray about problems or worries, but only, only to give thanks to God for what he has done for me. I prayed the names of Jesus, thanking him for all he is and all he does. I thanked God for every thing in my home, every single good friendship, for hot water, for shoes, for all he'd created. This was helpful. I think keeping an ongoing list would also be helpful so you could look back over it and thank God again and again for his blessings and gifts. In many ways, this helped right my perspective. Yes, I'd felt forced to quit a job I loved, but it had freed me to do what I now know God was calling me to do - spend more time with my family and also start a missions group to equip indigenous church leaders. Both things required this change so I needed to focus on the good. Also, on those days when I felt absolutely bankrupt emotionally (I fought very dark thoughts about myself) I needed a reminder of the truth - that I am loved and I have a wonderful husband and some good, good friends to do life with. 

5. Be open to new ideas. I think that when we move out of one circumstance, we have a very concrete idea in our head and heart of what we're looking for in the next. Many times this closes us to any other ideas. I NEVER in my life ever wanted to plant a church but have helped with a church plant twice now. If I had limited my thinking to what I THOUGHT I wanted to do, I'd have missed one of the greatest blessings of my life! This pattern has repeated many times in my life. So keep the eyes of your heart open to what God has for you. It may be totally unexpected. Use this time to really think about how God is moving your heart and what he's teaching you.

What are your best thoughts on how to walk through times of transition?