A Worshipful Heart

The Church Can Help Prevent Pastoral Burnout

As we approach the beginning of a new year, we're making plans about how to spend 2010 in healthier and more productive ways. We're thinking of steps we can take, priorities we need to right, and changes that need to occur in our lives. The truth is that while we alone are responsible for making healthy choices, we are often helped by the encouragement of those around us. Whether we're dieting, exercising, taking a weekly sabbath or setting up a regular date night with our spouse, many of our goals require the cooperation of others. 

And this is where the church can help those that minister vocationally. I believe many more pastors - and their spouses - desire to live a healthier lifestyle, to actually have a regular day off, and to spend concentrated time with God than feel able to do so. The sad thing is that most of the time we become workaholics because we love our job, we think about ministry all the time, and we want to make a difference for the Kingdom of God. We truly desire to please and honor God with our work ethic. And so we work  - as I once did - 70-80+ hours a week. We give our entire being to ministry and instead of anyone reigning us in and saying "this is unhealthy", we are instead praised for the very behavior that if practiced long enough may one day kill us, or if we're lucky, only burn us out. 

I myself have walked down this road. For a period of several years I worked well over 70 hours every single week. I rarely had an entire day off. I went to sleep thinking about church, and I woke up thinking about it as well. I lived as if I had no limits and was on the road to burnout and all along that road I was congratulated and applauded for overworking. As a people pleaser, this just added to my workaholic tendencies. 

As a result of this near burnout, I’ve done much research into ways to do ministry in a more healthy manner. I talked to pastors who had gone through similar times in their life. I read books and consulted counselors for their advice. I know that the church does not want our ministers to come to the place of burnout. We want them to learn how to minister in ways that are healthier for them - and for our churches - spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically. This will be, in the long run, something that truly honors God and His people. Churches can give their staff the gift of cooperation and encouragement and it will not cost them much money, only time and care to implement. We can choose to give our staff benefits that make for a healthier, happier group of ministers. 

I encourage all church boards, deacons, elders, and lead pastors to take these suggestions and discuss how they might be implemented in your own setting. Your staff needs your encouragement, your permission, and even your accountability so that they minister and live in healthy ways. 

1. Sabbath Sundays - Producing week in and week out is exhausting and is difficult to do. It would be helpful if every ministerial staff member be required to take every 8th Sunday off. This allows them a regular time to sit in worship (at a neighboring church) without worries if they’d like to, or go to the beach or simply stay in their pjs and have an extended quiet time at home. This will encourage staff to reproduce themselves and help them gain an understanding that they cannot be the only one that does their job. Everyone learns to share leadership when time off is also shared. 
2. Personal Retreat Days - Pastors often study the Bible and pray for the sake of everyone but their own relationship with God. Staff could be encouraged to have extended quiet moments with God if churches would give one work day monthly for them to have a personal retreat. Expect them to use it and ask them about it, thus educating and building in some soft accountability. Give resources to help them plan these days and talk about ideas as a team. Make this a core value for your ministers!
3. Staff Pastor/Counselor - We often check on how well people are doing their job, but we don’t often check up on how well they are doing emotionally or even spiritually. Regular, periodic check ups on their mental, emotional and physical state can help encourage them to take steps toward health. If the church has money for it, I’d recommend that they have an account to help staff members with counseling when needed. Many times pastors have no one to talk to as they process the reality of being in ministry. At the very least, provide one staff member as a Staff Pastor to oversee how these staff members are implementing these policies, and to discern if there is a need to send them for further help, etc. 
4. Planning Leave - It would be beneficial to allow two weeks per year for each ministers to help them to leave the constant demands of ministry to work on ministry, not just in it. This leave can be used for planning and preparing ministry ideas and systems. This is also a time to visit other congregations and be inspired and challenged. This should not be seen as a break, because they would work hard during this time. 
5. Renewal Leave - This is often called a Sabbatical, but this leave would be given based on years of service for the purpose of renewal only. Many times I see churches give this only in emergency situations - and I myself took a sabbatical under these circumstances - but this is not the most profitable for the staff member or the church. Renewal leave can proactively rejuvenate a minister and allow them to pay attention to their own health, spiritual passion and families. They will often return to serve with greater vigor and a deeper faith. 

As you enter 2010 take a long look at your work habits in ministry. If you're in the position to help the ministers at your church, I hope you'll share these ideas and help implement them. But one thing is certain. We won't have healthy pastors when expectations and habits are unhealthy. It's time to make changes for a healthier 2010 and future!

** If you'd like to talk personally about how to implement these ideas in your life or your church, please email me at janowen@knology.net. I'd love to consult with you and your church board. **

What Pastors Can Learn From Urban Meyer

Unless you've been out of the country or simply are not a sports fan, you've heard the news about Urban Meyer, head football coach of the Florida Gators. Winning two national championships in five years as well as coaching a Heisman winner put Meyer at the top of his career. Yet he announced Saturday night that he was quitting "for health reasons" and to "get his priorities in order". Then, with everyone still reeling, he announced on Sunday he'd changed his mind and now is going to take "an indefinite leave of absence". Obviously, Coach Meyer felt a great need for a break, to get his life in order, and to get away from the stress. He needed to get off the merry-go-round for a little while.

My husband, who has also served in vocational ministry, made the observation that coaching is alot like being a pastor. You have a staff, you feel the need to care for everything and everybody, and the more successful you are, the more pressure you feel to succeed again. And then there's the competition...... Right or wrong, we are all wanting our churches to be bigger and better. We want to be thought of as successful!

Having spent fifteen years in vocational ministry, I know a bit about the life a pastor leads - and at times suffers from. I also grew up as the daughter of a coach. And I've also taken a sabbatical after an incredibly stress period of ministry. I'm just a little bit familiar with the feeling of being so stressed you want to run away! I believe there is much that those who serve on pastoral staff can learn from the decision Urban Meyer made.

1) We, as pastors, must learn we are not indispensable. We may hate to hear it, but life will go on without us! If we live like we're the only one who can do our job, we will eventually burn out. And when we burn out, we may make bad decisions, lose our passion for God, or even lose our family and health. The price of burn out is HIGH and long lasting. And don't be deceived, the fallout is widespread. It doesn't just affect us, or our families. 

2) We must learn to delegate and thus share the load - and develop the leaders God has provided for us. If we don't listen to the leaders in our church, or allow them to lead, then we are the ones wasting their gifts. I believe we will answer to God for that. Another dangerous outcome, however, is that we and our churches do not benefit from their wisdom and the accountability their insights offer us as pastoral leaders. 

3) We must learn to take regular breaks. I know pastors have a huge load, but we must be humble enough to admit that we are limited. To remember that we are human. To acknowledge that we are not God. God is God, we most definitely are not. When we acknowledge our limits, and rest and care for ourselves, we are saying with our lives that we trust God to run the world - and our churches - without us for a while. 

4) We need to be aware of the state of our own soul, and take time to do regular "soul care". Without it we cannot lead others spiritually. The best gift we can give our congregations - and the Kingdom of God - is a healthy us. Healthy physically yes, but also healthy emotionally and spiritually. Our first priority is to care for our own selves so that we may care for others. Being aware of what is happening inside us spiritually and emotionally is so important for pastors, yet most pastors I know are really not good at this. We are great at caring for others, but struggle to care for ourselves, or even to admit we need care. 

5) We must learn to look to God to feel "successful", not to other pastors. If you base your pace of ministry, decisions about life, and feelings of success etc. on what the most famous pastors do (or what you think they do) you are obviously doomed to almost constant frustration. Ask me how I know! Don't try to keep up with other pastors and churches, but be content with being obedient to the leading of God for you, and your church. 

6) Momentum hides a multitude of sins (or problems). Meyer's problems did not originate November 5, 2009 when he entered the hospital. They started long ago. Perhaps he's a workaholic - most coaches AND pastors are. Maybe he's ignored the stress, the long hours, the health issues, and the way his family may have felt for years. Yes, years. But when you're winning and rolling so gloriously along it's hard to slow down. It's hard to take a break from the momentum, from the adrenaline, from the constant high we get from winning. And so the problems "hide" and don't seem so big. Until we no longer have the gift of momentum. And then the problems seem almost insurmountable. And we are left with no other option but to face them and deal with them. 

What do you think? What lessons could we, as ministers, learn from Urban Meyer?

Embrace the Gift of Limits

There was moment in my life, a moment of utter exhaustion, where I realized I was living as if I had no limits. I know you will laugh out loud, but a big truth I had to face as a minister - and as a human - is that I am limited. Even though I may desperately want to, I realized that I cannot solve every problem or take care of every person and situation. Like a bolt out of the blue, I came to the stunning realization that some things were simply outside of my realm, abilities, knowledge and control. I came to understand that I could not make other’s choices for them nor am I responsible for them. I realized others would make decisions that impacted me and that there was nothing I could do to control that. 

This was a big day for me. A huge realization. A day that turned my life around.

I had tried for so long to put out every fire, to solve every problem, to deal with every situation and take care of every person, to keep it all together that I had exhausted myself emotionally and physically – and I was now paying a huge price for it. 

This realization included my heartfelt admissions that:

 - I have physical limits and needs and I must honor them. My own body and health must become a priority for me.

 - I have emotional limits and needs and I must pay attention to them. I can no longer give and minister without regard for my own emotional needs.

 - I needed to set some boundaries. I could not always be available. The world would keep on going without me. My life was out of balance/perspective in some important ways – I had put work and ministry ahead of my family and my own health. This was a hard admission.

Quite simply put, bottom line: I had to admit that I am the created, not the Creator. 

I needed to humbly admit what we all know: I am not God. I am limited. At first this realization simply frustrated me because I wanted to fix it all. But over time I have come to find that the admission that I am limited is actually quite freeing! I now find my limits to be a gift that remind me of Who is really in charge and Who is really able to do all things. 

And – thank God – that is not me! 

Acknowledging our limits keeps us humble as well as rested – and free from unrealistic self-expectations and those ever prowling feelings of guilt.

How can you embrace the gift of limits in your life? How can you admit - with your lifestyle - that God can run this world without you? What steps do you need to take?

What I Learned From Biking....

Recently our family got new bikes. To be honest, it's been years since I've done any serious biking. Sure, I've rented a bike or rode around with the kids, but the past few weeks we've been biking 10 miles several days a week. We're training to do a two day biking trip in the fall. When I was just biking with the kids, or tooling around on a rented bike, I never really learned how to use the gears. Now that we're biking for miles at a time and going up and down hills, I've learned the beauty of gears. The other day, when I was flying down a hill and shifting into a higher gear to take advantage of the momentum, Phil looked at me and said something profound: "You know, we could probably learn alot about how to live life from riding these bikes!".

So I've been thinking about that as I have geared up and down, climbing hills and breezing down inclines. I've thought about how easy the first mile feels and how difficul the last 1/4 mile can be. Here's what I've learned from biking:

 - Don't push to hard at the beginning if you want to finish well. In other words, pace yourself.

 - Take advantage of the downhill momentum to prepare for the next uphill climb.

 - Sometimes the moment it really burns and you're tempted to stop is the moment when it levels out and eases up a bit.

 - The hill you can handle when you're fresh and life is good will seem impossible when you are tired and exhausted. The hill hasn't changed, but your ability to climb it has - your reserves are depleted.

 - Therefore there are moments when the best thing you can do is get off the bike and walk a bit or sit down and rest and get a drink. There is no shame in this. Sometimes a little rest is all it takes to finish strongly.

 - If the terrain was the same all the time and all the roads of life were paved and flat it would indeed be easier, but it would also be more boring. Without the strain of climbing the hills we'd never know the thrill of flying down the other side.

  - Momentum makes all obstacles seem easier to overcome than they really are. Climbing uphill makes each obstacle seem harder to overcome than it really is.

 - The more I bike, the more I am able to bike. Endurance is built up over time and takes discipline. The ability to stick with it for the long haul is borne out of experience and being in shape. If I'm not healthy and strong, I won't be able to go the distance. If I don't learn from my experiences, I will make mistakes that disqualify me. If I don't stop and rest when needed, I will not be able to finish the course at all.

 - If you get distracted and take your eyes off the trail you could have a wreck. And your wreck could hurt others and not just yourself.

 - It's always more fun to bike with a friend. And their company is sometimes what motivates you to keep pushing on.

Bet you didn't know there was so much to be learned from riding a bike!

What steps are you taking to be able to "finish well"?

To Remember I Am Not in Control

About a year ago I was convicted to begin the practice of Sabbath. I chose Fridays due to my work schedule and have remained fairly faithful. But work creeps in, errands come up - basically it is HARD to set aside a whole day to refrain from work and to focus on taking pleasure in God. The temptation to say "oh I'll just make one work call" or "I'll just drop this off at the cleaners" so I won't get behind is HUGE - because I am ALWAYS behind. Although I love having a Sabbath day, it has been hard to honor it completely, particularly when life gets frenzied. And lately, it seems to always feel that way!

I've come to realize several things about the rest that God offers for us in Sabbath:

1) To rest from my own efforts and to rest in God's love and sufficiency, I must first trust that God can run the world without me. I must trust that my family can get by for a few hours without fresh laundry or my washing the dishes. I must trust that The Brook will run smoothly even if I am not at work seven days a week. I must "fast" from doing, and face my unwillingness to stop and allow the world to revolve one full rotation without my interference. To do this, I must face my own desire for control and then begin to trust that God can handle things without me. I must choose to rest in God and in His loving intentions for me.

2) Therefore I choose to declare with my life - by resting from my own labors and resting in God's love for me - that God is God and I am not. He is the Savior. I am the Redeemed. I stop once a week for a full 24 hours to remember that even though I am doing God's business, I am not God.

3) Creator God - who surely needs no rest - has modeled this rest from "doing" for us although HE is truly Almighty. According to Mark Labberton, "Genesis tells us that after six days of creating, God rested. So God is not obsessive-compulsive, nor is He manic. God is not desperate, worried, not a handwringer. God gives creation extraordinary freedom, which is soon squandered, and still God rests. Nowhere is there a suggestion that God had second thoughts about that day off - If only I hadn't rested, maybe Adam and Eve..." Instead God chose to model the priority of rest for us. After much study, burnout, and the deep soul work of the past few years, I've come to see why it is so important.

4) One of the biggest lessons I've learned in the past few years is to learn to wait on God. I've had no choice. I've had to simply wait on God to act, God to speak, God to move. I was in a position where it was obvious that my efforts were not going to save the day, no matter how hard I worked and tried. I've camped out in Psalm 37 - "Be still and wait patiently for the Lord to act". This has required that I slow down and listen and - again - trust God. I soon realized that so many times I never stopped doing , I never stop filling my life with noise long enough to hear the voice and promptings of God. Sabbath gives me space in my life to wait on God, and to hear His voice, and then to have an entire conversation with Him!!

5) In Sabbath keeping I take the opportunity to cease from doing FOR God, and sit at His feet and BE with Him. In the practice of Sabbath I focus on loving God, I focus on who I am BECOMING, not on proving my worth or abilities through what I DO for Him. On my Sabbath day I am simply a beloved child with my Father.

6) So ultimately, my life can look something like this: STOP, REST, LISTEN, then DO. In this way, I live out the experience of being with God to the world around me the rest of the week and I am led by God's Spirit, not by my own compulsions and anxieties and worries.

"A life that worships and does justice starts with rest."  The Sabbath practice allows me to "unhook from culture and daily routines and reconnect with the heart and mind of God and His purposes in the world." (Mark Labberton, "The Dangerous Act of Worship")

So if I don't answer a phone call, or return an email, or if you don't see any Twitter updates on Fridays, know that it's because I'm focusing on resting in God. Sabbath restores me to re-enter ministry and life out of the overflow of having been with God.

Do you practice Sabbath? How has it helped you reconnect with God?

I'll Fly Away....

So tomorrow I'll be heading out for Chicago. If you see me at The Brook please don't be offended if I zoom by you in a panic as I leave to catch my mid afternoon flight out of Nashville!

This is a bittersweet retreat for me as it will be my last retreat among my retreat community peers. We've spent the last two years together, faithfully assembling once a quarter as church leaders dedicated to taking care of our own souls, knowing without a doubt that we cannot be spiritual leaders without being connected to God in deep ways. We know that to lead, we must first be led.

I've written before about why I retreat here and here and here. It's become a necessity for me, and silence and solitude have become things I thirst for when life seems too fast, too busy and too noisy. I have learned that I really do hear God's voice more clearly when I get away from the noise of life and can focus on having whole, entire conversations with God instead of snippets here and there.

I can easily draw an analogy between time away with God and the time we take to go away on romantic getaways with our spouse. My husband travels alot with this work and sometimes a month will go by and I'll realize we've only spent 7-8 days together the entire month. I'll realize our communication has become stilted because it's been limited to emails, text messages and 5 minute phone calls between meetings. I never get around to any true quality communication, instead we have to focus on the immediate needs in our life. It gets old. It affects our relationship. When he is home for a time we have to adapt back to one another and living life together. Nothing gets us back into sync with one another faster than taking the time to go away together for a few days. We realize that we MUST make time to be alone with one another so this is a priority for us and we probably do this 3-4 times a year.

If I can see the benefits of stealing away with my husband for some uninterrupted time alone, then I surely can see that it is good and needful to do the same with God - no email, no phone, no tv - just a focus on long times of prayer, getting out and enjoying the beauty of the retreat center and sensing God's presence and power reflected in the world around me, and journaling what I sense God is saying to me. My times away are times of sweet communion with my Savior. Each retreat (and I started before I joined this community) has been a spiritual milestone for me, particularly in the last two years. It's not easy to make time for, but it has been a necessity for me. If Jesus needed to get away to pray, why do I think I need any less?

I will put it bluntly. I do not know if I would be able to still be in ministry if I had not made this a priority in my life. The teaching of our retreat leader Ruth Barton, founder of The Transforming Center, the discipline of getting away with God so I can be still and quiet enough to hear His voice and sense His leading, and the community of fellow ministers has been ministry saving and life changing for me.

As Henri Nouwen said so eloquently "Solitude became the furnace for my own transformation."

I'd appreciate your prayers as I go - that I would hear from God as I work to develop a "rule for life" in the spiritual disciplines of my life. I also just need some encouragement from God right now. At times we are inundated with words from others - their opinions and perspectives and desires. Right now I just need to hear a word especially for me from the heart of God.

Do you retreat or practice times of solitude and silence?

What have been the benefits in your spiritual journey?

 

Are You Close to Burnout?

If you're familiar with my story of the past few years, you'll know that I had to completely "relearn" how to do ministry, even life, following a particularly vicious case of near complete burnout. While much of my burnout was due to alot of circumstances that were outside of my control, I had to own my own part in it and make the needed changes to ensure I can give the best "me" I can to my family and to the kingdom of God. I spent time in counseling, I spent lots of time in prayer, and I also did tons of research to find church staff policies that were aimed at ministerial health.

And I'm still researching.........

So here are two questions:

1) Are you in ministry and close to burnout? What do you wish your church would do to help you prevent it or heal from it?

2) If you are on staff at a church that has some really creative and healthy personnel policies, would you share?

These could relate to time off, accountability, work hours, sabbatical, and spiritual practices and disciplines. I'd love to hear about it all.

Thanks so much!

So I'm Starting a Diet ......Again

One of my goals for my sabbatical was to lose weight and I didn't. It's tough to travel and lose weight and when I came back to work I felt like I had been dropped in a raging river, or in the middle of a race and I couldn't seem to get my schedule under control in order to exercise, etc. So of course I gained a little of my weight back that I had lost before. That's really been bothering me and convicting me as well.

Tomorrow morning I am trying a totally whole foods diet that's supposed to boost my metabolism. I'll be focusing on exercising and hopefully I will be in good shape soon, healthier than I am now!

So here's the question of the day.

Do you struggle to take care of yourself?

What one thing do you need to do to be healthier?

Smoky Mountain Memories

There are a few places in our lives that are simply resplendent with memories. The Smoky Mountains are one of those places for me. I have probably been to some area of the Smokies 50+ times in my life at least. As a young girl, we camped there frequently and I spent hours "rock hopping" in the streams while my dad went fly fishing. We tubed down the streams in the hot summer months, hiked many trails, biked Cades Cove, and built many campfires. As I became an adult we began to build our own family's memories in this beautiful place and we camped many times, hiked, the kids fell in the stream more times than I can count and we added our own set of "must dos" to a trip to the Smokies. We first took Maria camping there when she was only 6 weeks old - and hiked 6 miles on that trip as well! I have story after story about family experiences in the Smokies. Everywhere I turn is a memory for me, down to entering the gift shops and seeing mocassins for sale, or driving through the park and remembering a particular "bear sighting" or hiking and remembering who I was with and what we did on a particular hike. Every corner is filled with "remember whens....". Everywhere I look I see my children at younger ages, my mom and dad, my grandparents. Happy memories, funny memories, even some that feel a bit bittersweet now that my children are almost grown. Every beautiful vista holds the shadow of a sweet moment from my life.

This weekend Phil, Daniel and I took off for our own Smoky Mountain adventure. We packed up our new little car and left after church on Wednesday night, getting to the north side of Chattanooga. We spent Friday morning checking out Lee University in Cleveland for Daniel next fall. We drove over to the Ocoee rafting site. We arrived - via many twists and turns - in Townsend Thursday afternoon. It was a wonderful day together. We went out to dinner and prepared for a big day on Friday.

We visited the "Pancake Pantry" in Gatlinburg for brunch, a place I have ALWAYS wanted to eat. It was a childhood dream come true. (I'm not sure why) And yes, the pancakes were delicious. After consuming about a million carbs we headed for the woods. Phil had a wonderful idea - camping without the frustration of a tent. We got a campsite by the river, pulled out our newly purchased lawn chairs and books and sat down and relaxed. We later hiked about 6 miles down the Old River Road Trail and climbed out on the rocks (where I took this particular picture above) and just relaxed. Later that night we build a campfire and roasted hot dogs and made smores and roasted marshmallows. It was so peaceful. Campfire smoke, marshmallows, and a mountain stream = relaxation. No cell signal or internet are a plus! But here's the really great part. When we got ready to pack it in for the night we just loaded up the car and went back to our cabin! This kind of camping I really love!

We took the time to take a real walk down memory lane as we played "Hillbilly Golf" with Daniel, who just "wanted to see if it was as awesome as he remembered." I think he experienced a bit of "grown up disillusionment" but we all had a great time nevertheless. I had the best time of all because I WON! YES!

We spent Saturday touring Cades Cove, oohing and aahing over the pastoral beauty that seems to never grow old for me. As we headed home we stopped and spent a few hours in Chattanooga, helping Daniel become better acquainted with the area that might be "home" for him if he attends Lee University in the fall of '09.

It was a weekend full of God moments. Moments together laughing (my men are REALLY funny!), walking, just being with one another. I've needed this for a long time. We've needed one another for a long time. It was good to feel a sense of God's peace as we discussed not only the upcoming year but Daniel's future as well. There is just something so peaceful about getting out on the country roads and being in the middle of God's creation that helps you to breathe and to have a clearer mind. Good conversations, fun discoveries, and time to really think about the next stage in our lives filled these three days together. And through it all we were surrounded by the memories.....

As we pulled into our campsite I remembered camping with our children and visions of little boys who couldn't wait to climb on the rocks filled my mine. As we hiked down the Old Little River Road Trail I remembered bring Maria down that very trail when she was just a little baby, carrying her in a carrier, stopping to picnic. As we climbed out on the rocks in midstream, my mind was filled with images of my mom climbing with me and my dad standing in the stream in his search for the elusive trout. As we lingered in a gift shop and I saw mocassins for sale I remembered wanting some so badly as a child and my Granny and Paw Paw bringing me a pair. Around every corner, in every vista, a memory. And now we will have more to add to our scrapbook of the heart.....

The Smokies are full of memories for me.

What place is full of memories for you?

Thoughts for the Day........

This is just a random gathering of thoughts.....

1) Today I visited Wall Highway Baptist Church to support my friend Dean as he led worship. I enjoyed - once again - sitting in worship and relaxing, not having to lead. Dean and his team did a great job. Getting the opportunity to sit in worship while on sabbatical has driven home to me once again the importance of two things that were already priorities for me:

     a. As a leader, I must reproduce myself and invest in training and equipping other leaders. I am so pleased that there are so many other worship leaders and ministry leaders at The Brook and thank God for them. I love seeing God use them. Training and helping them use their gifting is a priority for me in the coming year. While it is nice to be needed and loved, I must never see myself as irreplacable.

    b. As a leader I must be able to sit in worship, under teaching, etc and follow well. There are two things here - first, I must remain teachable and leadable, with a humble heart. This is one of the many, many reasons I participate in a retreat community. In that setting I am not in charge and I submit to someone else to lead me. Sometimes we are told rules or given instructions such as "no cells or iPods" and I have to trustfully submit, knowing God can teach me so many things through others. Secondly, I cannot lead worship if I am unable to follow someone elses leadership. If I am only interested in being the leader I am in deep trouble. I must first be a worshiper of God, and lead out of that. So taking time away to simply sit in worship with no duties becomes a place of life and filling for me. It is imperative. Yes, it takes being innovative sometimes, but the longer I lead worship the more I see how important it is. There is a deep spiritual value in being able to submit to others and not be in control. I firmly, firmly believe that if we cannot submit to others we cannot submit to God. Being led is a good lesson in letting go of control. Sitting in a service simply as a worshiper and receiver allows me to be spiritually filled so I can lead out of the deep places in my own relationship with God.