A Worshipful Heart

Thank You

These past two weeks have been filled with many challenges. Almost everything around me was unfamiliar - the landscape, the culture, the language. I was trying some things for the first time. They had never provided any training on worship before. We weren't sure what to expect or how things would turn out. Or even if anyone would come!

In short, although I knew I was answering a call of God, I was scared stiff, wondering if I had resigned my job for nothing. My anxiety was very high on the flight to the Dominican. 

But you, my dear friends, kept me in your prayers! And you kept letting me know you were praying! And that helped me out so much.

So thank you for praying. And thank you for all the communication along the way. Every day you were on my heart as I texted my status updates to Twitter and Facebook. Every experience made me think of you and wish I could share it with you. I felt like I carried you with me! 

Your prayers were a gift. And God answered us! I did not get sick in the DR, I was kept safe, the pastors and leaders all seemed to learn and be excited, and they had safe travel. God went before us where ever we went. I felt His constant presence and I thank Him for all the answers to our prayers. 

Here's a passage of scripture that I've been hanging out in lately. 

"I will keep on hoping for you to help me; I will praise you more and more. I will tell everyone about your righteousness. All day long I will proclaim your saving power, for I am overwhelmed by how much you have done for me. I will praise your mighty deeds, O Sovereign Lord. I will tell everyone that you alone are just and good." - Psalm 71:14-16

So thank you and thank God! I appreciate your support and friendship so much.

Taking It to the Streets...

God touched my heart so deeply this week through this sweet group of men. We are an odd combination - I am a white woman, they are black men. We come from such different worlds - Haiti is, after all, a 5th world country while I live in comfort in an American city. They speak Creole as their first language while I speak English. I've enjoyed many years of education while some of them struggle to write their names and laboriously worked at taking notes.While I have never truly wanted for anything, they face great physical need daily. And while I was driven to DaJabon to our meeting in a nice van, many of them walked for hours, rode in the back of a pick up truck, or came on the back of a motorcycle and crossed the border from their country. And they are senior pastors, where as I've never held that particular role. You might look at us and think we could not be more different. What could we share together that would strengthen and encourage one another? What could we talk about? What in the world could I teach them that they could use in their setting, which is so different from mine?

I don't know what they will take home with them knowledge-wise, but I hope and pray that they will go home encouraged and filled with hope. I hope they will go home knowing someone cares. I hope they have a few tools to try in their church that will help their congregations grow and flourish.

One of the best moments in the workshop with them was when I asked them to tell me what instruments they had in their church. Jonas shared, "A homemade guira. I used a nail and punched the holes in it myself." A couple had a keyboard. One had a flute and a guira.One had a drum. Others had nothing at all. And so I asked them if they had people with good voices and they resoundingly chorused "YES!".

So I said "You have at least two instruments - your voices and your hands. With just this, you can start and grow a worship ministry team." I shared with them how I started with nothing but me at the first church I led in, and how we did not have but one instrument at The Brook when we began. I shared with them that they had more than I had because I was leading white people and "we don't really know how to clap" - and they thought that was very, very funny! I told them - "with a little organization, and taking time to prepare and rehearse, you can have a wonderful worship ministry with what you already have."

You should have seen their eyes light up. This excited them. It gave them hope. As we talked about how to choose songs and put a set together their eyes lit up. They were thrilled to have some new things to try.

In the end I assured them that worship ministry is really all about the heart.....

We ended our time together with a walk to the park in DaJabon for a time of singing. They worked very hard on making a list of songs to do for me. They thought of creative ways to do old songs. While I had envisioned something simple, they took this singing in the park thing quite seriously!

And so they sang.....and I was so touched. Their joy was obvious and infectious.

I don't know what they learned from me but I learned alot from them. And they have made a request of me, and of you, their brothers and sisters in Christ in America. As they held my hand and wished me God's blessings they asked: "Don't forget the church in Haiti. So I ask you to pray for your brothers and sisters in Christ in the country of Haiti.

And now, let me introduce you to my friends from Haiti...Lucceema, Jackson, Hitler, Anul, Icene, Jonas, Lucner, Romano and the rest. Although you won't be able to see them - we were in the dark - you'll be able to hear them. Occasionally you'll see them when a camera flashed! Enjoy meeting my new friends.

Haitian Pastors Singing in the Park from Jan Owen on Vimeo.

Hallelujah! from Jan Owen on Vimeo.

Good Bye from Haitian Friends from Jan Owen on Vimeo.

The Night the Lights Went Out in Santa Lucia

Today was quite a day. I visited a community that is located within an active landfil. It is controlled by gangs, filled with garbage, and reeks of sewage. I crossed a river filled with sewage, trash and smelled the sulphur coming up between my feet. I held and fed children at the nutrition center. I also celebrated Christmas - on Halloween, no less, with a "Feliz Navidad" party for the neighborhood children. And then, as an afterthought to my day (or so I so wrongly thought), I climbed innocently into the truck with G.O. Missionary Dianne Miller and her translator to accompany Dianne as she went across town to share with some ladies about prayer. 

We raced across Santiago (everyone races everywhere here) and got turned around, missed our turn, and got supremely lost. After many phone calls, and after turning around about ten times, and then jolting and careening across unpaved roads with BIG holes in them, we breathlessly - and with many bruises forming - arrived at the church in the community formally called Santa Lucia, but more commonly called "La Mosca". It is called this because it is beside a live, burning landfill. Smoke fills the air at all times. Many people are ill. And because of the landfill, the air is filled with "mosca", or "flies" in English.

As you might imagine, the church in this community is humble. It has about ten simple wooden benches, and down front was a small Casio keyboard and a simple and aging sound system, for which they are very thankful. The warm, humid air was gently stirred by slowly moving ceiling fans. Women fanned away the heat, and children squirmed in their seats. As we began the service two young teenaged girls led us in worship. Even though I didn't know the songs and couldn't understand all the words, I was touched as I saw the women worship and heard them raise their untrained voices in praise. As I worshiped, I felt overcome by the sweetness of the blessing of worshiping with the Body of Christ. Yes, we look a bit different, and we speak different languages, and we live far apart, but we still are The Body.

At the close of the teaching time, Dianne asked us to hold the hand of someone near us and to pray for someone we  love. As I bowed my head, expecting to pray alone because of the language barrier, something happened that is apparently very common here. The lights went out. And it was utterly dark. But there was nothing else we could do, and so we bowed our heads, grabbed a hand near ours, and prayed. Not silently and politely, but out loud, and with all of our hearts. We pled with God on behalf of our children and families, our neighbors, our churches. This room of women stormed the gates of heaven with great urgency there in that dark night. And as the woman that held my hand prayed, I could understand these three words: "Gracias Senor Jesus".

As I sat in that hot little room, surrounded by the babel of a language I can only understand snippets of,so far away from what is "normal" for me, I began to praise God. I began to do what I had taught others to do. I began to praise Him for who He is, for what He's done, for His mighty acts, for His creation, and because He is worthy .I began to thank Him for His love, His mercy, His forgiveness, His joy, His peace. And as I lifted my hand in praise to the God of the entire universe, not just my little world in Madison, Alabama, tears began to stream down my face.

Those moments in the darkness were a holy appointment with God. There was something powerful about sitting in utter darkness and praising God out loud. And as a candle was lit and the darkness was pushed away a bit, I saw that our prayers and praise are like that candle. They literally push back the darkness in this world.

Doesn't that just make you want to get down on your knees for someone? Doesn't that make you want to stand to your feet and praise God?

Go ahead....push back the darkness in this world a little bit more.

Thoughts So Far

  I have really enjoyed my time with this group I'm teaching here in Santiago. Tonight we had 30+ pastors, musicians, and others desiring to learn more about worship. And in spite of "la professora" being a American woman with a southern accent using a Haitian translator (what a test for him my accent was!), I believe we continued to learn together. It was a lively group and I loved hearing their questions and discussions on issues that concern them. It was great to hear the perspectives of the teenagers that may play or sing in a band and also get the perspective of the pastors present with us. We had male and female, young and old (ages 1 - 68!) and both Dominican and Haitian.

It's so obvious to me that this is a group of men and women who deeply desire to honor God with their worship and their lives. Their questions were insightful and show that they are thinking deeply about the present day dilemmas they are facing in ministry and in their church setting and even in their own walks with Christ. And guess what? They are talking about the same things ministers all across America are talking about.

 For example:

 - Is one style of music more spiritual than another? Is it okay to use rhythms in the church that are used in secular music? How do I know what is right for my church? Some want the older songs, some like the newer songs. (Does this sound familiar to anyone else?) We had similar discussions on casual vs. more traditional clothing as well. Basically, it was a discussion about change - the churches here are experiencing change we had in the U.S. a few years ago. It was a great chance to discuss what truly constitutes worship - is it just music, or is it the state and intent of our heart?

 - How can I, as a pastor,be a mature spiritual leader? How can I guard my heart and life against sin, particularly sin of a sexual nature?

 - How can I lead when I feel lonely, hurt, or just tired?

- How do we encourage others to lead?

Some things are so similar to the world of ministry I know so well. And some things are - of course - very different. How can I understand the extreme poverty of my Haitian brothers and sisters? How can I understand the cultural norms of a country I am only visiting? There are things I cannot comprehend that these pastors deal with every single day. I admire them for serving so faithfully.

Yet in these past two days I've felt that common bond - we are all believers in Christ Jesus. We are brothers and sisters in Him. We all desire to worship Him and live for Him. We want to give God our best, but we are still learning how to do that more and more every single day.

And as I stand up and look out at that room filled with so many different, yet beautiful,skin tones and accents, I get one more glimpse into what the reality of heaven will be like. All of us created so wondrously different, yet all for His glory, to proclaim His praise.

I am so thankful for this time here. I am thankful for all God is teaching me. He is encouraging me through these fellow ministers of the Gospel!

For those of you who have given to the Give Worship Project I just want to say a huge THANK YOU. You've made this time of teaching possible. They were excited to receive the books, and desire to grow as worshipers. You have helped strengthen the Body of Christ here in the DR. And I appreciate that so much!

Keep reading - and commenting! I LOVE hearing from you. Tomorrow I'll be visiting "The Hole", which is a community in the landfill. Tomorrow night I'll be teaching my last class here in Santiago - we'll be wrapping up our time with this particular group of leaders. On Monday I'll be traveling to the Haitian border to Da Jabon, where we hope to connect with Haitian pastors from that area.

Signing off for now.....with a grateful and humbled heart.

**A HUGE thanks to G.O. Ministries, who has made this training possible!**

I've arrived!

So by now you may know that I not only arrived safely in Santiago, I also was able to navigate custom, pay my "entrance fee" and then find the missionaries from G.O. Ministries successfully. Actually John and Diane found me! I must have stood out or something. :) For these things I am thankful. That I would be lost in the airport, without transportation, was a fear of mine as I embarked on this adventure. I prayed over this many times!

I spent much of my time in the air today journaling. I talked to God about my excitement, but also my fears. What if no one shows up? What if I don't teach the right thing? What if I make some crazy cultural error?

 What if it simply does not work out and I quit my job for this?????

Yes, that is the horrible terror that has been lurking at my heels, nipping at my soul all week. What if I simply fail? As I prayed about this today, God turned my heart. I began to pray that God would simply guide every thought of my mind, every word of my mouth, and that He would speak through me, giving me great discernment and sensitivity to the needs of these I've come to serve. I asked God to open my heart and mind to the opportunities for true ministry right in front of me, whether or not it looks like what I'd hoped for or envisioned. I prayed that I could lay aside my expectations and not make this about me at all.

As i talked with John tonight (the missionary here), he said just about the same thing: We don't know what to expect. No one's really ever taught them about worship before. We don't know who will show up, or how many will show up, or even how they'll respond. We can just faithfully do all we can do and see how God uses that.

And that is hard, isn't it? To be unsure of an outcome? To take a leap of faith and then not be sure of anything at all except that you've been obedient? To be completely unable to control anything at all?

So tomorrow morning at 9:00 am (EST) I will begin teaching. You can pray for me. But most of all please pray for the leaders and pastors that will attend. Pray that God will strengthen and enlighten them in ways that will grow and benefit His Kingdom and bring Him glory.

As for me right now, I'm sitting in a stuffy apartment listening to the sounds of life outside our door. There are children playing, motorcycles roaring by and people talking. There are mosquitos buzzing hungrily about. And there is the sound of my breath as I pray that God will work in His own way during these ten days.

Until tomorrow.....

Are Your Clothes Dirty From Following Jesus?

This morning at The Brook, Dee Lauderdale taught us more about following Jesus as our Teacher. He shared alot of Jewish tradition that gave rich context to the message and I know that I personally really enjoyed it. 

So here are a few of my "takeaways" as I consider what it means to be a student of Christ:

 - "It's all about what we choose to focus on" We retain and remember what we choose to focus on. If I want to learn more, I need to focus more on learning the Word. 

 - Jesus reversed things and, as a Rabbi, chose his disciples. And he turned the "norm" on it's head by choosing men who had been told "you don't quite measure up." (he even allowed women to sit at his feet as disciples which was unheard of in that day) One of the most touching things Dee shared was "We need to have faith in God but we also need to know that God has faith in us." 

 - If a disciple truly followed his Rabbi, then the dirt kicked up by the Rabbi got on the disciple.

 So I had to ask myself:

 - Are my clothes dirty from following Jesus?

 - How closely am I following Christ?

Here are the songs we did this morning:

1. Today is the Day

2. Indescribable - I shared a bit about how God speaks to us through creation and others to set this up.

3. Cannons - this was a new one for us today. Went well after "Indescribable"

4. Revelation Song - always powerful.

Sermon

5. Breathe - fit the sermon so well.

6. Sing to the King

Today was such an odd day for me - extremely bittersweet. It was my next-to-last Sunday to lead at The Brook. That made it a very sad day for me. Just one more Sunday - about 12 more songs. I've stood on that stage and led worship probably about 700 times at least. And now, just one more time. As I stood on the stage I wondered "Will I ever lead worship again?". This is a question that has been on my heart alot lately because I do love to lead other people to worship God. I love to sing. And most particularly, I love to sing with this team. So knowing that our time of being together in this particular way is coming to an end makes each worship set so poignant, and difficult, and yet it adds a sharper focus, a deeper joy because I really do appreciate every single moment, every note sung, every riff played, each drumbeat that echoes. When you know time is short, everything feels meaningful. 

But it was a sweet day as well. At the end of each service I got to share about my upcoming trip to the Dominican Republic and my heart for worship and missions. I was able to share - for the first time - with this precious congregation some of what God is calling me to do. And then they gathered around me to pray for me. And that was truly a great moment. I felt so loved and cared for.

I leave Tuesday to train worship leaders in the DR. I'd appreciate your prayers as well. 

**This post is a part of Sunday Setlists over at www.fredmckinnon.com. Go check out what worship leaders around the world did today in worship.**

The Most Frequently Asked Questions...

In the wake of the announcement that I have resigned as Worship Pastor at The Brook, I've had some recurring questions come up time and time again. By far the most asked question is this: "Oh, we know you've resigned. But you'll be staying at The Brook won't you?". I want to try and address all of these questions in this post...

The answer is that while we plan - and pray - for our relationship with The Brook to continue our entire lives, Phil and I will not be regular attenders at The Brook after November 8th, which is my last Sunday to lead worship. We plan to return and visit, but we will not be there each Sunday as we have been in the past. I know that this is not the answer many of you may want to hear. To be honest, it's not all that we desire either! I had planned on being at The Brook until I was old and gray, rocking out on the front row each week during worship! But it seems that God has other plans for me. I hope you'll hear my heart as I try to explain. 

Phil and I both feel it would not be fair to the new worship pastor for me to stay at The Brook. It might be difficult for them to connect with the church family with me sitting there each week. They might feel undue pressure, or awkwardness. We don't want that. We want my successor to succeed and we want worship ministry at The Brook to flourish! We feel that staying might just get in the way of that - or at the very least, not be the best choice. Additionally, we feel it will clear the way for the worship team to build a relationship with the new worship leader. Even though my relationships with these dear friends will not end, it will change somewhat because our roles will change. I don't want to make worship ministry harder for them in the future. I want them to answer God's calling on their life freely and without reservation. Lastly, it would be hard for me as well. As sure as Phil and I are that this is indeed what God is calling us to do, it has been an extremely difficult decision. The decision making process has been filled with moments of great grief and that grief will take some time to heal and work through. I will miss The Brook so much, I'll miss leading worship, I'll miss my team. We feel it might be hard to work through those feelings - and to fully embrace what God is calling us towards - while still regularly attending The Brook. 

So the next question we've been asked again and again is "Well, where will you go to church?" and the answer is "We have no idea at all. None." To be honest, that is a question I cannot think about right now. I know God will lead us and provide for us. But for right now we are simply focusing on the most immediate steps ahead of us. We know we'll take some time to rest, to visit friends in ministry, to go to church with our children, and to travel a bit. We trust that God will show us where he'd have us settle down when that time is right. This is something we ask that you pray for us about.

Another frequently asked question is "What do you need? What can we do for you right now?". That one is easy. Right now I need your friendship. I need to know I am loved and cared for and that you are praying for me and supporting my family. I need hugs! I do welcome communication at this time. This has been the hardest decision I've ever made. In many ways that has made this a deeply lonely time, which has been a bit sad. I have enjoyed touching base with those who have taken a moment to email me, or call me, and I even welcome your wonderings and questions. I had a friend call today and we had a good conversation as she asked "How did you know for sure this is what God wanted you to do?". I'd enjoy sharing that with you as well. 

And I hope you'll join us Saturday night, November 7th at 6:00 pm at The Brook as we have a celebration. Your presence will mean so much to me!

Thanks for all your encouragement and support. I will always thank God for my years at The Brook. 

Humbled by Blessings!

Friday night I was so blessed as many of my closest friends and family gathered for the first ever Night of Worship to benefit the Give Worship Project. Fellow worship leaders and musicians donated their time and talents to help make the night a success. We had a great time as we spent the evening worshiping together. 

It was so sweet to share my heart and my dreams with friends both old and new who had come out to support a good cause. 

Great news! We raised $1500 for the Give Worship Project during this event!!! I'm well on my way to raising sufficient funds for my trips to the Dominican Republic and Guatemala. We've had 25 spanish language books donated for the worship leaders in the Dominican Republic. 

But we do still have needs. I still need money to travel to India and Rwanda. We need more books for leaders. But I'm thrilled with the progress we've made so far - and that is all due to YOUR generous hearts! I look forward to seeing how God will continue to provide in the days ahead. 

And I'm so humbled by the generosity of my friends and family who truly do believe in the calling of  God on my life and the dreams God has placed on my heart. Every little bit of support - attendance, gifts, prayers - all encourages me to dream without boundaries! More than anything, these brothers and sisters in Christ believe in the power of worshiping our Savior! 

This is just the beginning of a dream. I hope we'll hold these Nights of Worship in other locations around the country in the future - learning about worship together, rejoicing in the work of God and building more and more support for indigenous worship leaders - and their congregations - around the world.

If you're interested in donating, or in buying books for leaders, please visit www.giveworship.com to get all of that information. If you're interested in having me come share with your group or church about worship and the work of the Give Worship Project during your own Night of Worship, please let me know! My email address is janowen@knology.net.

I'm so thankful. And so humbled. And so excited to see how God will work in the future!

Won't you come be a part?

I'm Excited to Announce.....

In December 2008 I launched a new ministry initiative called the Give Worship Project. The Give Worship Project has one goal: To equip and provide needed resources for indigenous worship leaders in developing countries. Last Christmas we provided six guitars, some amps, CDs, cables and other equipment to worship leaders in the Dominican Republic through a blog project - and you, my readers, were responsible for these gifts being given! 

I'm excited to announce the next phase of this project. I am currently preparing for upcoming opportunities to actually travel and provide training for worship leaders in these same countries in the months ahead. I've been writing curriculum, finalizing details and preparing to work with translators. It's time for the Give Worship Project to move to the next level.

I hope you'll take a moment to visit the new and improved website for this ministry at www.giveworship.com. 

I need YOUR help!  Please pray with me as I need 20 people to commit to giving $100 each in September and October to make these trips possible. I hope you will pray about being one of these sponsors. More info is on the website!

Exciting things are ahead as we reach outside of our own comfortable world to encourage the Body of Christ elsewhere. I hope you'll join me!

Worship Recap: Ministering to the Forgotten

Today I was back leading worship at The Brook after being absent the past two Sundays for a mission trip. You can scroll down and read all of my posts about this phenomenal experience to see many of the things we were involved in.

It was a bit more difficult to get back into the swing of things than I had anticipated mainly because I've just felt so emotionally overwhelmed this week in the wake of our trip. I've felt a bit disconnected and "at sea"all week, so it required a LOT of concentration and focus for me to lead this morning. I'm so thankful for my team who is always so prepared and solid - they made it easy. Leading with a great team is a GIFT! We're doing one service on Sundays for the month of June and July - which I haven't done in about eight years - so that made things just a bit easier as well.

Our focus today was on our mission trip and having the opportunity to share with our congregation all that we did while in Guatemala. We used some video and pictures to highlight the different projects and ministries and then our leaders for the trip - Josh Britt, Sue Ann McCoy and Bill Schroder - shared about what we did and how God worked in their lives personally as we worked and ministered

The focus for our trip really seemed to be loving those that others have forgotten - we worked with orphans, handicapped children, the very poor and homeless, and the indigeneous people there who suffer from malnutrition and very poor housing as well as many other indignities. We all agreed that many of us are simply wrecked and broken in the wake of this trip - and as my husband said, "I just keep thinking about how we can get back and work SOON." I know that I, for one, will never be the same again.

Here's the worship we did today:

1. Cover the Earth (great song for the idea of missions and the nations declaring the glory of God!)

2. My Redeemer Lives

Welcome and Greeting

Video and Sharing about Mission Trip

3. Hosanna (love that line: "Show me how to love like you have loved me. Break my heart for what breaks yours. Everything I am for your Kingdom's cause!")

4. Sweetly Broken (this is how I'm feeling!)

5. Cover the Earth Reprise to go out on!

The stage was set for VBS so we had a cool set design! I felt like it was a wonderful service with a ton of energy and I really hope many of our people were challenged and encouraged to "Bring the Kingdom". I want to give a big kudos to our Pastor, Brian Mayfield, who totally canned his sermon late Saturday night in order to allow us to fully share about the trip. It was a great call! Be sure you check out his latest post entitled "wrecked". It so aptly describes how many of us are feeling. I am looking forward to seeing how God is going to call and direct us as a church family in the wake of this experience. I have been on other mission trips, but there was just something different about this one, and I feel that God is doing a deep work in us for the future - and for the sake of others. Be sure to check back this week for more of my thoughts on the future and how church leaders can make choices here in the U.S. to benefit others.

**This post is a part of Sunday Setlists over at www.fredmckinnon.com. Go read what other worship leaders around the world did today!**

How was your Sunday?