A Worshipful Heart

The Night the Lights Went Out in Santa Lucia

Today was quite a day. I visited a community that is located within an active landfil. It is controlled by gangs, filled with garbage, and reeks of sewage. I crossed a river filled with sewage, trash and smelled the sulphur coming up between my feet. I held and fed children at the nutrition center. I also celebrated Christmas - on Halloween, no less, with a "Feliz Navidad" party for the neighborhood children. And then, as an afterthought to my day (or so I so wrongly thought), I climbed innocently into the truck with G.O. Missionary Dianne Miller and her translator to accompany Dianne as she went across town to share with some ladies about prayer. 

We raced across Santiago (everyone races everywhere here) and got turned around, missed our turn, and got supremely lost. After many phone calls, and after turning around about ten times, and then jolting and careening across unpaved roads with BIG holes in them, we breathlessly - and with many bruises forming - arrived at the church in the community formally called Santa Lucia, but more commonly called "La Mosca". It is called this because it is beside a live, burning landfill. Smoke fills the air at all times. Many people are ill. And because of the landfill, the air is filled with "mosca", or "flies" in English.

As you might imagine, the church in this community is humble. It has about ten simple wooden benches, and down front was a small Casio keyboard and a simple and aging sound system, for which they are very thankful. The warm, humid air was gently stirred by slowly moving ceiling fans. Women fanned away the heat, and children squirmed in their seats. As we began the service two young teenaged girls led us in worship. Even though I didn't know the songs and couldn't understand all the words, I was touched as I saw the women worship and heard them raise their untrained voices in praise. As I worshiped, I felt overcome by the sweetness of the blessing of worshiping with the Body of Christ. Yes, we look a bit different, and we speak different languages, and we live far apart, but we still are The Body.

At the close of the teaching time, Dianne asked us to hold the hand of someone near us and to pray for someone we  love. As I bowed my head, expecting to pray alone because of the language barrier, something happened that is apparently very common here. The lights went out. And it was utterly dark. But there was nothing else we could do, and so we bowed our heads, grabbed a hand near ours, and prayed. Not silently and politely, but out loud, and with all of our hearts. We pled with God on behalf of our children and families, our neighbors, our churches. This room of women stormed the gates of heaven with great urgency there in that dark night. And as the woman that held my hand prayed, I could understand these three words: "Gracias Senor Jesus".

As I sat in that hot little room, surrounded by the babel of a language I can only understand snippets of,so far away from what is "normal" for me, I began to praise God. I began to do what I had taught others to do. I began to praise Him for who He is, for what He's done, for His mighty acts, for His creation, and because He is worthy .I began to thank Him for His love, His mercy, His forgiveness, His joy, His peace. And as I lifted my hand in praise to the God of the entire universe, not just my little world in Madison, Alabama, tears began to stream down my face.

Those moments in the darkness were a holy appointment with God. There was something powerful about sitting in utter darkness and praising God out loud. And as a candle was lit and the darkness was pushed away a bit, I saw that our prayers and praise are like that candle. They literally push back the darkness in this world.

Doesn't that just make you want to get down on your knees for someone? Doesn't that make you want to stand to your feet and praise God?

Go ahead....push back the darkness in this world a little bit more.

Are Your Clothes Dirty From Following Jesus?

This morning at The Brook, Dee Lauderdale taught us more about following Jesus as our Teacher. He shared alot of Jewish tradition that gave rich context to the message and I know that I personally really enjoyed it. 

So here are a few of my "takeaways" as I consider what it means to be a student of Christ:

 - "It's all about what we choose to focus on" We retain and remember what we choose to focus on. If I want to learn more, I need to focus more on learning the Word. 

 - Jesus reversed things and, as a Rabbi, chose his disciples. And he turned the "norm" on it's head by choosing men who had been told "you don't quite measure up." (he even allowed women to sit at his feet as disciples which was unheard of in that day) One of the most touching things Dee shared was "We need to have faith in God but we also need to know that God has faith in us." 

 - If a disciple truly followed his Rabbi, then the dirt kicked up by the Rabbi got on the disciple.

 So I had to ask myself:

 - Are my clothes dirty from following Jesus?

 - How closely am I following Christ?

Here are the songs we did this morning:

1. Today is the Day

2. Indescribable - I shared a bit about how God speaks to us through creation and others to set this up.

3. Cannons - this was a new one for us today. Went well after "Indescribable"

4. Revelation Song - always powerful.

Sermon

5. Breathe - fit the sermon so well.

6. Sing to the King

Today was such an odd day for me - extremely bittersweet. It was my next-to-last Sunday to lead at The Brook. That made it a very sad day for me. Just one more Sunday - about 12 more songs. I've stood on that stage and led worship probably about 700 times at least. And now, just one more time. As I stood on the stage I wondered "Will I ever lead worship again?". This is a question that has been on my heart alot lately because I do love to lead other people to worship God. I love to sing. And most particularly, I love to sing with this team. So knowing that our time of being together in this particular way is coming to an end makes each worship set so poignant, and difficult, and yet it adds a sharper focus, a deeper joy because I really do appreciate every single moment, every note sung, every riff played, each drumbeat that echoes. When you know time is short, everything feels meaningful. 

But it was a sweet day as well. At the end of each service I got to share about my upcoming trip to the Dominican Republic and my heart for worship and missions. I was able to share - for the first time - with this precious congregation some of what God is calling me to do. And then they gathered around me to pray for me. And that was truly a great moment. I felt so loved and cared for.

I leave Tuesday to train worship leaders in the DR. I'd appreciate your prayers as well. 

**This post is a part of Sunday Setlists over at www.fredmckinnon.com. Go check out what worship leaders around the world did today in worship.**

Called to Go!

I promised to share with you all the things God is whispering to my heart these days. I want to share with you more than the sadness I feel over leaving The Brook, I want to share what God is calling me to move forward and do. And this particular thing is something that I need your help with!

For a long time - several years now - I've felt God stirring my heart to be involved in worship ministry world wide. Not in a particular country, but in many countries. I began to be so convicted that if I - as a worship pastor - was really passionate about the glory of God, I would be passionate about worship happening not just at my church, but around the world. I love the pictures of heaven we see in Revelation - EVERY tribe, EVERY tongue gathered together worshiping the ONE TRUE GOD! As I prayed about this nudging, I felt God calling me to be a part of worship in every nation here on earth. One way I feel drawn to do this is through equipping fellow worship leaders, particularly those with few resources and little training. I love to teach and mentor and encourage others. This encouragement is something that was rare for me when I began to lead worship many, many years ago. And although there are many other worship pastors that are more technically skilled and musically gifted than I am, I do have many years of experience and a desire to help. When I heard from missionaries that one of the greatest needs in new churches around the world is simply to have the church leader's become well equipped, I knew that this was something I could do. Furthermore, I knew it was something God was calling me to do.

And so I am moving forward. I don't know for sure what this will end up looking like in the future but for now I've taken a few steps. 

1) I've written a basic worship training curriculum to be used in training worship leaders. (and the hand outs have been translated into Spanish)

2) I've said "yes" to working with three different missions organizations to do initial trips to train worship leaders and pastors. All of these trips are as much about research as they are about teaching. I'll be assessing the needs of these leaders for training in future years. This is just the beginning. Here's where I've signed up to go:

 - Dominican Republic with G.O. Ministries - October 27 - November 5. This is JUST NEXT WEEK! I'll be working with about 35 Dominican and Haitian worship leaders, sharing resources with them, and observing lots of worship in the DR!

 - India with HeartSounds International, a division of Operation Mobilization - February 11 - 22, 2010 - I'll be co-teaching with a team on Biblical Worship, How to Build a Worship Ministry, etc. at a training conference for pastors, many of whom are first generation Christians. They are members of the Daleit, a people group that is considered low in the caste system. They are not accepted in churches in India. We will be laying the groundwork for an actual worship workshop there in 2011, developing teaching materials, and paving the way for future training. 

 - I feel a deep nudging from God to say "yes" to go to Rwanda with E3 Partners Ministry March 13 - 28, 2010. Phil and I are praying about this one. I would need a large amount of money quickly, but it's a great opportunity. I would be going to a Church Planting conference and mission, so we can participate in church planting and the beginning of equipping of the leaders for those churches. They have no worship training module presently - but it could be a big open door for the future, a possible opportunity to develop this training. This would be a huge opportunity! But I need $2500 by January 12th and $2000 more by February 12th. That's where you come in!

3) I've applied for non-profit status for The Give Worship Project, which is to fund training and resources for church leaders around the world, particularly in the area of worship. If you go to the website you can read all the details. 

So how can you help? You can invest some of your earthly treasure to make this training a reality. Raising support for my participation in this training will now have to become a huge priority for me! I need many people to step up and say "yes" with me! And every dollar someone gives benefits the church world wide. Isn't that a remarkable thought?

If you'd like to give, through December 31st, here is the way to do it:

Mail a check made out to: The Brook

Address it to:

Jan Owen

106 O'Riley Court

Madison, Alabama 35758

It takes more than one person to make a dream come true. It takes friends and family who believe in both the dream and the dreamer. I hope you'll become a part of what God is calling me to do - as He calls me out of the comfort of my own church, and into THE church around the world. 

Facing Change

As I've prayed through the decision of resigning my position at The Brook, I realized that much of what I feared revolved around change. Perhaps for many of you, the emotions you've felt this week reminded you of other times of great change in your life. I found an old post I wrote two years ago when the former pastor of The Brook resigned and the words I wrote so perfectly expressed some of the same anxiety I feel today......perhaps you can relate. So here it is, reposted for us all:

This week has been a week of major change for me. If you're from The Brook you feel the same way. We face an unexpected change that feels a bit frightening and many things are unknown. Our hearts grieve and are hurt and saddened. I understand how you feel because I have felt those same feelings - the anxiety that comes when we know something is about to change! I've been through a few major changes in my life - getting married, having children, moving away from a small community, changing churches, and entering career ministry. Plus there were those incremental changes all along the way - children starting school, children leaving home, moving, job changes, relationships that end, etc. All of these changes denoted the passage of time in my life and illuminated certain seasons of my existence here on earth. As joyous as some of these occasions of change were, they were ALL stressful.

I've decided that I really do not like change. I think it's because I get comfortable where I am, I have learned to handle life in this situation and I am terrified that I may not be able to if anything changes. In every phase of life over time I developed a feeling of security where I was and it felt safe and comfortable and cozy right there. If I stay where I am I know what to expect. I know how my own abilities work in this present situation. I am no longer fearful. I certainly had no thought of moving or changing! Yet God often has other plans for us. I've decided that the discomfort of change is one of His most powerful forces in maturing us spiritually. Without change we would stagnate, stuck in the rut of safe and predictable repetition. We would never stretch and grow. When change occurs we are forced to examine our lives, to let go of certain expectations, to give up our "security blankets" and to try something new. We are forced out of our comfort zone. And that, my friend, can be downright painful and awkward.

I can remember when I had two children, a boy and a girl, and I was expecting my third child. I had nightmares about not being able to care for a third child. I knew even then that we would soon be outnumbered! I would dream of losing track of a child or not having enough clothes or whatever - all signs of extreme anxiety as I sought to figure out how to cope with this upcoming change in our family. I struggled similarly when my youngest started school - I felt "fired" and unneeded and to be honest, I was supremely bored at home all alone. Little did I know that God was launching an era of new things in my life's story. When Maria graduated from high school I again went through these feelings of transition that are so uncomfortable. Change upsets our own ordered little worlds and forces us to leap into the arms of God. Change forces us to give up control as we enter the unknown. It also forces us to acknowledge that we are mortal and that life is not certain and that our hope should not be in some thing or some one but in Christ alone.

I've faced some major transitory times in my life and in each case I felt like God slowly and somewhat painfully unfurled my fingers from the security I was so intent on hanging onto. Usually times of great change - at least in my life - have been preceeded by times of great unease. God was work in my heart preparing me for the change. Yet I didn't want to let go, I grieved the loss and I firmly resisted moving as God would want me to. In every change there was a time of grief, a time of acknowledging and then accepting what I would "lose" as I walked into new territory. In many cases my mind would be filled with irrational fears of the future - the list of "what ifs?" would almost feel overwhelming. Yet I have seen God's hand as I moved and as I trusted Him. Yes, my life was changed, but I was led into a brand new adventure of God. 

Even an adventure can be filled with dread or fear of the unknown. I felt this way about leading worship. I was grateful for the opportunity but was frankly terrified! What if I failed? What if people were laughing? What if no one worshiped with me? What if no one likes me? What if I can't keep my team happy? What if I lose my voice? What if I just simply was not good enough? The list could go on and on. Even in the midst of adventure, change engages our emotions on complex levels, calling us to participate with God in spite of our fears.

If you are a friend from church, I invite you to embrace the change we are encountering. Grieve the loss, bring it and your fears into the presence of God. Thank God for the good times.Then ask God what He has for you in this adventure. Let this change drive you to your knees in prayer, drive you to your church family in love and encouragement and drive you to God's word  as you hunger for Him. God has something powerful for us all as we put our hand trustingly in His and walk through the door of change.

Wisdom Stands at the Crossroads

 So often in our lives we long to have a fully disclosed answer from God. We want to know - or we THINK we want to know - all the twists and turns the road of our journey will take. 

I think this is why we are so enamored with our cute little GPS systems. They tell you everything you could possibly want to know - which lane to get in, how many feet until a turn is to be made, how many miles and minutes to our destination and even which side of the road your destination is on. There are few surprises with a GPS guiding you because you can even look ahead and see each and every turn you should make until you arrive at your final destination. And if you end up in the wrong place, well you can blame it on the little woman in the GPS!

We humans love security - we crave it. We say we like adventure but I have an inkling most of us like our adventure carefully controlled! So we long to know what's ahead in this journey we call life. Is it any wonder that the most frequently asked question that Pastor's receive is "How do I know the will of God?" None of us want to miss this. And yet we fear that the little voice we hear resounding in our heart is just our emotions, or something we've made up. We fear taking the wrong step.

Last year I heard Michael Coleman, President and Founder of Integrity Music, Inc. share a word that I've never forgotten. It has resounded deeply with me this week. He shared that as much as we'd love to have clear wisdom and discernment about the entirety of our future, many times we've not lived and learned long enough to have an answer we really do not need until next year, for instance. God may have a work He desires to do in our life in the interim that will give us greater wisdom. And just as we do not have the grace today for the struggles of tomorrow, we may not have the answer until we truly have a need for it. 

Proverbs 8:1-2 says "Listen as wisdom calls out! Hear as understanding raises her voice! She stands on the hilltop and at the crossroads." Many times I've spent months - or years - on my face before God begging for clarification and an answer. And just when I had grown intensely weary of praying, God answered in the moment I needed to make a decision. Not before. Not after the fact. But right when I needed it - as I stood in the crossroads. 

Where in your life do you desperately need to hear a word from God?

Good - Bye for Now...Why I'm taking a break from social media

I love connecting with friends. This is one of the reasons I have tried to faithfully twitter, interact on facebook, and even blog - it gives me more opportunities to share my life and to get a glimpse of other's lives as well. With that said, you may have noticed I've been conspicuously absent from facebook, twitter, and blogging for most of this week. I've updated twitter exactly once since Sunday night.....must be a record.

I have felt very led by God to take a break from social media for a while - a "fast" if you will from near constant communication and feedback. So you won't see me online for a few weeks. I'm not sure how long this will last, I'm just going to continue until I feel God has said it's okay for me to go back.

So why would I do this? Why do I think God is leading me to take this step?

There are a few things:

1) I think God wants me to take a break from writing about my life and instead to be fully present in the moment. It's a way to honor those I am physically present with - if I'm with Phil and we're taking a walk, no matter what I see or what happens I just enjoy and experience that with him without the distraction of sharing it with the world! I can also really enjoy each moment of my life in a more substantive way. 

2) Similarly, it helps me to be more fully tuned into God. Constant communication and feedback can wreck your ability to pay attention to one thing at a time. It can be distracting. I feel like I'm in a season that I need to really be fully tuned in to the voice of God alone. 

3) I simply need a break.

So, what has my first week been like? To be honest, it's been very peaceful. No constant need to check my phone, no wondering if someone will misunderstand a comment, no obsessing over what someone else meant by their comment, and more time just to "be", to relax mentally, and to be fully present to God and whoever I'm with. I think I might have gotten more work done too. :)

Because of this, Phil and I have made the radical decision - for us anyway! - to not take my iPhone or his Blackberry with us when we travel to Maui on Tuesday. We've also decided we're not checking email while we're away. We're going to focus on hearing from God and being with each other and - oh yes! - relaxing in one of the most beautiful places on earth. 

I wanted you to know I am not ignoring you personally, I'm simply not checking in. I hope you'll understand and pray for me as I take this step in my journey. I trust God has a deep work to do in my life. 

See you later! And ROLL TIDE ROLL!

Learning Through Failure

Today John Maxwell twittered the following quote:

"Good people are good because they have come to wisdom through failure. We get very little wisdom from success." -William Saroyan

This is one of the most profound statements I've ever read. And it's a lesson I've learned well - and with much kicking and screaming along the way! If I related this to ministry I'd say that I surely learned things when all was going well and the church was growing. As I developed two worship ministry teams from nothing, as our church grew from twenty-two people to 700, as we began to rotate three entire worship teams, I certainly learned alot about leading worship and about how to lead a worship ministry. I learned alot about people as well. I was stretched and I grew. I gained alot of needed expertise. 

But nothing has stretched me and enlarged me like the times I've experienced what I will call "utter failure". The first time was when I was asked to step down as worship leader because of my gender. I have never been more embarrassed and humiliated in my life. Even though I did nothing wrong, I still feel that this was one of the times in my life I felt most like a failure. Navigating this situation taught me a great number of lessons, and helped me gain alot of wisdom, although some of it has taken years to really begin to realize and come to fruition.

Perhaps the biggest "failure" that affected me deeply was my attempts to help provide leadership in the wake of church tragedy. Let me say very clearly that I had no idea how to do that. I don't think anyone did. But it was discouraging. I worked so very hard and despite my best efforts, despite working long hours week in and week out, despite researching and seeking counsel, the last few years have contained wave after wave of difficulty. My best efforts were not enough to overcome problems that have affected and hurt so many people and this has grieved me to the depths of my heart. Because of this, for most of those years I have struggled with feeling incredibly ineffectual as a leader and worship pastor. 

Here is the irony of it all. When The Brook was growing rapidly, I got asked for advice all the time. To be honest I had no idea how we grew - it all seemed like just a blessing from God. I certainly don't think I had anything to do with it. Although my opinion was sought many times in those years, I don't know that I had much to offer other leaders in the first twelve years I was in vocational ministry. 

Here is the absolute truth:

I've learned more in the past 3 1/2 very hard, arduous years that have contained little to no success than I'd learned in all the previous years combined. I didn't learn the most from being "successful", although I have undoubtably enjoyed success upon occasion. I learned endurance and faithfulness from times of difficulty, brokenness and even failure. I learned to constantly seek God when I had no idea what to do. I learned that my ideas were really no good at all when I had to rely on God. I learned the most when I had to surrender and fall on my face before a Loving God and the only prayer I could dare utter was "Have mercy". Through all of this I learned compassion and humility. Today I actually feel like I would have something to offer other leaders if asked.

You see,  we don't gain the deepest wisdom from learning how to "do" tasks and set up systems or manage people. We do not gain wisdom from improving our skills and abilities. We gain wisdom when circumstances force us to see ourselves as we truly are. We gain wisdom when we face the harsh realities of life. We gain wisdom only as we allow these circumstances to mold us and make us more fully into the image of Christ.

Wisdom is not easily won. It is a gift with a price tag attached. In James' writings, he mentions wisdom in conjunction with these things: the testing of your faith, endurance, strength of character, and a willingness to seek God. If we are honest we might admit that none of us really seek out situations that test our faith. We cringe away from the very things which offer the greatest opportunity to grow.

"Dear brothers and sisters, whenever trouble comes your way, let it be an opportunity for joy. For when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed you will be strong in character and ready for anything. If you need wisdom - if you want to know what God wants you to do - ask him, and he will gladly tell you. " James 1:2-5

My idea of success has changed a bit in the last few years. I want to grow as a church because I long for more people to come to know Christ. But it means less to me now. I now look for people that have persevered, who have overcome, who have remained faithful, and who have learned through their failures and difficulties. Show me a woman or man who has faced adversity and who still faithfully loves God and others and I will call that "success". 

I love this verse from Proverbs: "Don't be impressed with your own wisdom." (3:7) Instead we are given this instruction: "Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight and understanding. Search for them as you would lost money or hidden treasure. Then you will understand what it means to fear the Lord and you will gain knowledge of God. For the Lord grants wisdom!" (Proverbs 2:2-6a) 

What difficulty are you facing right now? What can you learn from it?

Service Starts With Your Attitude: Sunday Setlist 8/16/09

Today at The Brook Brian preached on another one of our core values, service. He made a great point that service really begins with our attitude, our heart. We must desire to serve for the right reasons, with the heart Christ had (as noted in Philippians 2) in order to serve in love. Humility is needful in order to serve as Christ served.

Today was a bit of a challenge for our team. I had been gone all week. Several of our musicians were not regulars in their spot and we did not get to rehearse together on Wednesday night so rehearsal this morning, to be kind, was hard. Trying to smile and lead when you have a knot in your stomach is always interesting. I was a nervous wreck but it's always funny to me to see how God moves in spite of our weakness. I made mistakes, I'm sure the band made mistakes, but we saw people worship enthusiastically. When I got home my husband said "Ya'll sounded great today!" and I just looked at him and started laughing. Sometimes it is when we know we don't have a clue that God moves in big ways! This morning was humbling in many ways, but it was also comforting. Thankfully God does not need me to be perfect in order to have His way in our hearts.

Here's what we did today:

1. Majestic - Lincoln Brewster (I still struggle to not hear Sandi Patti singing the old tune with the same name when we do this)

2. Holy is the Lord - Tomlin (we interspersed a reading of Isaiah 6 in with this song. Powerful.)

Greeting and Welcome

Video - My Calling (Sermon Spice)

Sermon

3. Hosanna - Hillsong

4. I Stand Amazed - Kristian Stanfill

5. Sing to the King - Billy James Foote

The last set was very effective. The songs moved us along in worship in a very natural progression that gave the congregation space to reflect and then respond in worship.

So thankful for the powerful movement of the Holy Spirit in our midst....

**This post is a part of Sunday Setlists over at www.fredmckinnon.com**

So how was your Sunday?

Worship Confessional: An Opportunity for the Ordinary

Today we turned our attention to Acts 3-4, and Brian challenged us to consider a huge question "Am I an ordinary person that God desires to use to do extraordinary things for remarkable purposes?" 

I felt a bit fuzzy going into today's service because I have - amazingly - only led worship one time in the past month. Between the mission trip to Guatemala and then having the flu and taking off a few days to write, I have missed worshiping with my church family. 

Here's what we did:

We continued in our introduction of the song "Today is the Day" by Lincoln Brewster and Paul Baloche to our congregation. My team had done this for the first time last weekend when I was home with the flu and the congregation seems to be picking up on it easily enough. I saw that people were beginning to embrace the words as well as they worshipped. I was glad to see that. 

First Set of Worship:

1. Today is the Day - Brewster and Baloche

2. For All You've Done - Hillsong

3. Sing to the King - Billy James Foote

Welcome and Greeting

Sermon - "An Opportunity for the Ordinary" - Brian Mayfield

Video - Gregory Jones shot a great video of Sue Ann McCoy, our missions coordinator, sharing her story about how God used her to lead many people to Christ on a church mission trip. Powerful testimony!

Special Worship Song - "Center" (Charlie Hall) - Brian led us in this song and it was a beautifully powerful song to use to respond to the sermon. It really touched me deeply and Brian did a great job with it.

We wrapped up the service by singing "My Savior Lives" (NewLife). In looking back on it, I wish we'd used another song to bridge to this one to end on. It was a bit of an abrupt jump from "Center" to this song - too big of an emotional move in my opinion. I felt like we interrupted a sweet time with God to go to a fast song. If I had it to do over again, I'd use a medium tempo, more worshipful song between those two elements. As a worship pastor, I continue to live and learn!

Some points and questions I'll be thinking on this week in light of this sermon are:

 - If I am a follower of Jesus, God has a plan to use me.

 - God desires that we give what we have. This birthed two important questions in my heart: What does this mean to me? What do I have personally to give to others? (and this is one of those questions I feel like others might answer better than I can!)

 - Am I, as an ordinary person, allowing God to use me to do extraordinary things for His remarkable purposes?

 - Am I clearly stating that I live for Jesus Christ?

 - Do people recognize that I have been with Jesus? Can they tell by my life that I have been in the presence of Jesus? Do I exude the life and love of Jesus? Do I "smell like" Christ?

 - Am I underestimating what I have to offer? (a huge temptation for me personally because I often do not feel "qualified")

 - Am I courageous enough to ask God to make me dangerous for the Kingdom of God? This question really reverberated in my heart. I'm still thinking about it and will be for some time.

 - Am I willing to be used radically?

Do any of these questions resonate with you? Which ones? What is your answer?

How was your Sunday?

This post is a part of Sunday Setlists over at FredMcKinnon.Com. Go see what the rest of the world did in worship this morning!

Worship Recap: Ministering to the Forgotten

Today I was back leading worship at The Brook after being absent the past two Sundays for a mission trip. You can scroll down and read all of my posts about this phenomenal experience to see many of the things we were involved in.

It was a bit more difficult to get back into the swing of things than I had anticipated mainly because I've just felt so emotionally overwhelmed this week in the wake of our trip. I've felt a bit disconnected and "at sea"all week, so it required a LOT of concentration and focus for me to lead this morning. I'm so thankful for my team who is always so prepared and solid - they made it easy. Leading with a great team is a GIFT! We're doing one service on Sundays for the month of June and July - which I haven't done in about eight years - so that made things just a bit easier as well.

Our focus today was on our mission trip and having the opportunity to share with our congregation all that we did while in Guatemala. We used some video and pictures to highlight the different projects and ministries and then our leaders for the trip - Josh Britt, Sue Ann McCoy and Bill Schroder - shared about what we did and how God worked in their lives personally as we worked and ministered

The focus for our trip really seemed to be loving those that others have forgotten - we worked with orphans, handicapped children, the very poor and homeless, and the indigeneous people there who suffer from malnutrition and very poor housing as well as many other indignities. We all agreed that many of us are simply wrecked and broken in the wake of this trip - and as my husband said, "I just keep thinking about how we can get back and work SOON." I know that I, for one, will never be the same again.

Here's the worship we did today:

1. Cover the Earth (great song for the idea of missions and the nations declaring the glory of God!)

2. My Redeemer Lives

Welcome and Greeting

Video and Sharing about Mission Trip

3. Hosanna (love that line: "Show me how to love like you have loved me. Break my heart for what breaks yours. Everything I am for your Kingdom's cause!")

4. Sweetly Broken (this is how I'm feeling!)

5. Cover the Earth Reprise to go out on!

The stage was set for VBS so we had a cool set design! I felt like it was a wonderful service with a ton of energy and I really hope many of our people were challenged and encouraged to "Bring the Kingdom". I want to give a big kudos to our Pastor, Brian Mayfield, who totally canned his sermon late Saturday night in order to allow us to fully share about the trip. It was a great call! Be sure you check out his latest post entitled "wrecked". It so aptly describes how many of us are feeling. I am looking forward to seeing how God is going to call and direct us as a church family in the wake of this experience. I have been on other mission trips, but there was just something different about this one, and I feel that God is doing a deep work in us for the future - and for the sake of others. Be sure to check back this week for more of my thoughts on the future and how church leaders can make choices here in the U.S. to benefit others.

**This post is a part of Sunday Setlists over at www.fredmckinnon.com. Go read what other worship leaders around the world did today!**

How was your Sunday?