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  • Hi, my name is Jan Owen. I am a woman following, loving, seeking and worshiping Jesus. These writings are my thoughts as I journey through both the pains and joys of life. After serving as a worship pastor for 15 years, I am now a worship missionary, serving as the President of the Give Worship Project, Inc., a non-profit 501(c)3 organization to help equip indigenous church leaders, particularly in the area of worship. You can donate by using the DONATE button below. All your gifts are tax-deductible and very appreciated. Thanks! Check it out!

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    « The Monster of Materialism - Is It Lurking In Your Closet? | Main | Give Me Eyes To See »

    April 30, 2009


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    Jeromy Johhnson

    Thank you for your kind words. ~Jeromy


    "The true test of our femininity is often when we’re asked to serve alongside that friendly, neighborhood guy – pastor, father, brother, friend, boss, colleague. Here’s where our passions and fears battle against God’s call for courageous femininity.

    If God gives women the power of influence, then He gives the men the complementary power of authority. They are not to rule over women, but to provide guidance and protection. Our brothers must learn to lead without being tyrannical, serve without being patronizing and protect without being intrusive.

    A courageous, feminine woman is easy to lead. The men in her life find her supportive, encouraging, engaging and flexible. Because the gospel frees us from the self-absorbed bondage of feminism, we can joyfully and intentionally invest our talents to make the men in our lives look good. Even those who are not married can implement these principles in their daily relationships!

    When men and women are actively working together to serve with authority and influence, they create an atmosphere of powerful, complementing strengths." -Lydia Shanks

    Read the whole article at

    Jan Owen

    Jonathan, One thing in particular that I'd urge you to reconsider - I do not see in scripture that women are called to make the men in our lives "look good" - they are responsible for their lives and actions before God. Yes, I have responsibility toward them, but that is certainly not all that God has called me to do.

    I am an individual created by God to do good works HE planned for me long ago. (Eph 2:9) My gifts and my calling are given for the glory of God and the work of the Kingdom - by God. I only ask that others respect and honor that. This is what so many other women in the church also desire.

    Look at the heart of this post. It's about some admirable men who have chosen to try to mend the ragged edges of the pain they have become aware of, even if they didn't cause it. Regardless of our position - and I know we hold differing views - I know you can admire compassion and understanding and even self-examination.

    I would urge you to try something new as you study this issue. Don't try to defend the position of complementarianism, instead try opening your heart and paying attention to what these men and women might be able to tell you. If you care about the body, then care about the members of the body. If they are in pain, perhaps it would benefit you to listen to their perspective and acknowledge that.


    Granted, my post was, in part, to defend the complementary roles, which God has created for men and women.

    But, it was, more importantly, it was to draw the attention of men not to use the authority given them by God "to rule over women, but to provide guidance and protection... to lead without being tyrannical, serve without being patronizing and protect without being intrusive." More often than not, this is the sin for which we men should seek forgiveness, myself included, and thus mend the wounds that have been made.

    You are correct in stating that women not are called to make the men in their lives look good. Rather, women are called to make God look glorious (but can make the men in their lives look good in the process, I think).

    Jeff McQ

    Jan, thanks for the mention, and as Jeromy said...for the kind words. What a blessing.

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